Momservation: Don’t look at it as sneaking your kids’ Halloween candy. Look at it as compensation for services rendered.
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T’was the Monday after Halloween
And all through the house
Half-eaten candy and wrappers
Were scattered about
Discarded costumes
Once provoking dread
Lay in heaps and piles
From floor to bed
Pumpkin seeds saved
Still uncooked in a bowl
Are now turning green
All covered with mold
Jack-o-lantern smiles
Now starting to droop
Already rotting
On my front entry stoop
The festive décor
Once strewn about in glee
Just looks like another
Job waiting for me
They hang from knobs
They are affixed on glass
They are on tables
What a pain in the a**
So I grab another Snickers
What-the-heck a Baby Ruth
All confiscated
In the name of the tooth
As I gnaw on the Twix
Sugar Babies and Mounds
I curse the beginning
Of my holiday pounds
And as I wrap up
Each decoration put away
Out comes another
For Thanksgiving Day
So I pop one more Smarties
Ready to hurl
I remind myself it’s for
A special boy and girl
Then I self-medicate
With a Reese’s peanut butter cup
Only 52 days until Christmas
I’m gonna throw up.
#HalloweenHangover
©Kelli Wheeler 11/08