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Don’t Bother Knocking, I Won’t Come Out

Momservation: Locking yourself in the bathroom with a bottle of wine and People magazine may not be the solution, but it’s a good start at throwing ideas at the wall to see what sticks.

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I am not a huge fan of January.

Don't knock unless you're taking me here

Where people see possibilities for the New Year, I see more sh** I’ve got to get done and a brand new year still isn’t enough time to do it. My calendar fills up quicker than a stadium full of American Idol wannabes and not one day of it is penciled in for me to run away to Fiji.

My birthday being in this month doesn’t help either. Just one more reminder that another year has passed and wishing over birthday candles for laundry to just go away never comes true. You know you’re pathetic when you consider lying to a treadmill and risk a heart attack rather than type in your true age in the name of a more accurate heart rate.

Plus it’s cold. I hate being cold.

Okay, now that you and Hubby have quickly surmised that someone’s monthly friend is about to knock on the door, let me see if I can find a little spot of sunshine. Let’s see what I have to work with:

  • It’s an election year. Media outlets seem to think this and who the Republican nominee is going to be is all that matters in my life. It’s going to be a long year.
  • The Kardashians exist. Media outlets seem to think that this is worth believing in and worshiping on a daily basis. It’s going to be a long year.
  • The Occupy Movement continues to get their point across that they are pointless and about to run out of their Starbucks ration. Thanks, but no thanks.
  • Facebook and Mark Zuckerberg are more relevant than the U.S. and Barack Obama. Glad we’ve got our priorities straight.
  • Mortgage rates are the lowest they’ve been in 40 years. Seems as irrelevant as the Occupy Movement if nobody can qualify…BTW, our savings accounts are earning half a percent interest rate – way to reward doing the right thing.
  • My San Diego Chargers have decided to keep Norv Turner as head coach. I guess they don’t really want to go to the Super Bowl.

So, like the proverbial ground hog, I have poked my head out to see what the climate of 2012 looks like. I’m going back in. Don’t bother knocking, I won’t come out. Try back in February when I have a better attitude.

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