Momservation: If you’re going to miss the hell out of your kids when they leave home, then you’ve done a great job creating good people for this world.
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It finally settled over me today like a wintery Sacramento Tule fog day. The sudden sadness washed over me, making me feel cold and muted by the enveloping realization that he will be gone soon and it will never again be the same.
Sorry for the “It was a dark and stormy night” opening, but anyone who has sent their kids off to college already will definitely identify with this chapter of my life.
The strange thing is: I was fine! I was actually doing okay with my first-born son’s senior year of high school. Everyone has been sharing stories of getting choked up doing the last rituals of high school and events of senior year. Me? Fine. Never better.
Senior portraits? Not a tear.
Senior family picnic and senior sunrise? It’s a party, what’s there to cry about? (Plus I snagged front row graduation seats at the auction! Whoo Hoo!)
Last Homecoming? Definitely no tears there. They have too many damn formals as far as I’m concerned. I will not miss dividing and conquering to make sure we get both high school kids’ formal event pictures, rides to and from restaurants, to and from the dance, after-parties, negotiating curfews…Will miss it all like a full-body case of poison oak. 
Last football game/Senior Night? Didn’t get me either. Just pure pride watching my boy play and knowing he will cherish that experience and memories forever. Made me happy.
Ordering my 18 year-old’s cap and gown and graduation announcements? Pissed me off, actually. Why the hell we have to do them so early? And good Lord, I feel like I just got shaken down by Josten’s! Forget investing in Apple stock! Josten’s is the one making a killing on the over-priced rituals of high school graduation!
So what finally brought the gloom that settled over my soul like a raven in a Stephen King novel?
Entering all the upcoming dates in my new 2018 calendar signaling that my baby boy is moving on to the next chapter of his life.
June 1: High school graduation.
June 3-10: Last family vacation with both my kids living under the same roof.
June-Aug: Limited scheduling for fun family trips/events because Logan is either going to have to work to save money for his first year of college or he will already be at college for sports conditioning.
September: No high school football games to watch with my son in them. Will be the first time at our annual Aptos beach house vacation that Logan won’t be there because he will be away at school.
October: I’ll have to mail him his birthday card/present and there will be nobody to make a birthday breakfast for or to bring In N Out burger and fries to for a special school lunch, and no traditional family dinner/party.
November: If he’s playing football, he may not be able to come back for Thanksgiving.
December: If he’s playing football or baseball, winter break will be cut short to return for conditioning.
2018 and beyond: The home I raised my wonderful, sweet, adventurous, funny, loving and kind little boy in will just become a pit stop as my young-adult son puts down new roots somewhere and creates his own independent life.
See? I told you. Soul-sucking, cold, damp Tule fog.
Pass the tissue moms and dads. I’m joining the Crying Game. Let’s see who has the bigger pit in their stomach and growing hole in their heart.
#HardToLetThemGo #ClassOf2018 #EnjoyTheJourneySon #DoorIsAlwaysOpen