Momservation: “Who’s going to turn down a Junior Mint? It’s chocolate, it’s peppermint, it’s delicious.” Cosmo Kramer, “Seinfeld”
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Top Ten Uses for B-List Halloween Candy
(We know you already ate the A-List* candy when the kids were at school.)
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Use Tootsie Rolls® as door stops or ant bait. Really, that’s all they’re good for anyway.
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Sprinkle Nerds® on your carpet as a carpet freshener and to make it sound like you’re doing a really good job vacuuming.
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Crush up Smarties® and stir it in your coffee as a sugar substitute – as in: it’s still sugar, just a substitute.
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Drop SweetTarts® in the toilet to freshen the bowl.
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Save Skittles® for Easter, then add vinegar to use as egg dye.
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Use all rejected banana flavor LaffyTaffy® as an industrial strength glue. One Halloween can last you a lifetime.
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Landscape with Dubble-Bubble® and Bazooka® bubble gum as the new lava rock of the millennium.
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String Starburst® as colorful garland for the Christmas tree. See #1 to keep ants away.
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Stick lollipops, Dum-Dums®, and Blow-Pops® in planters or flower beds for color until spring arrives.
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Save money at the dentist by extracting your own fillings with Dots®, LaffyTaffy®, and Jolly Ranchers®.