{"id":9850,"date":"2009-03-10T08:42:42","date_gmt":"2009-03-10T08:42:42","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/momservations.wordpress.com\/2009\/03\/10\/name-that-putrid-smell"},"modified":"2009-03-10T08:42:42","modified_gmt":"2009-03-10T08:42:42","slug":"name-that-putrid-smell","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/momservations.com\/index.php\/2009\/03\/10\/name-that-putrid-smell\/","title":{"rendered":"Name That Putrid Smell"},"content":{"rendered":"<p class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin:0;\"><font size=\"3\">Let&rsquo;s play a game shall we? <\/font><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin:0;\"><font size=\"3\">&nbsp;<\/font><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin:0;\"><font size=\"3\">Take a look in my car and you could probably guess what the Wheeler family has been up to in any given week.<\/font><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin:0;\"><font size=\"3\">&nbsp;<\/font><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin:0;\"><font size=\"3\">Here&rsquo;s your clues: <\/font><\/p>\n<ul style=\"margin-top:0;\" type=\"disc\">\n<li class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin:0;\"><font size=\"3\">In the front seat there&rsquo;s an iPod, gym towel and, I&rsquo;m hoping, my missing gym pass. In the back seat a basketball rolls around over a litter of napkins and a flattened McNuggets container. <\/font><\/li>\n<li class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin:0;\"><font size=\"3\">Stuffed into the pockets on the back of the front seats are Full House DVD&rsquo;s, cheap Happy Meal toys, empty snack packs, action figures and the random playing card. <\/font><\/li>\n<li class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin:0;\"><font size=\"3\">Clanking around in the &ldquo;way back&rdquo; are a bat and baseballs, a Heelys shoe, one ski glove, a bag of returns from Christmas, a 20 pound bag of dog food I got in the car but suddenly become too weenie to lift out of the car, and about a half dozen sweatshirts keeping my car warm.<\/font><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin:0;\"><font size=\"3\">Oh, and if you want a drink, I have ten (yes, 10) cup holders in my car each with some sort of half drunken beverage in them left over from a questionable period of time.<\/font><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin:0;\"><font size=\"3\">&nbsp;<\/font><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin:0;\"><font size=\"3\">Drink at your own risk, but that right there just might be a game of Russian Roulette.&nbsp;<span>&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/span><\/font><font size=\"3\">&nbsp;<\/font><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"text-align:center;margin:0;\" align=\"center\"><font size=\"3\">?<span>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; <\/span>?<span>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; <\/span>?<\/font><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin:0;\"><font size=\"3\">&nbsp;<\/font><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin:0;\"><font size=\"3\">Recently my car began to stink. Bad. Something was rotten in Denmark.<\/font><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin:0;\"><font size=\"3\">&nbsp;<\/font><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin:0;\"><font size=\"3\">At first it was annoying. &ldquo;Eww. What&rsquo;s that smell?&rdquo; But as soon as we got out of the car we forgot about it.<\/font><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin:0;\"><font size=\"3\">&nbsp;<\/font><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin:0;\"><font size=\"3\">Soon it got overwhelming. &ldquo;Good Lord! Did something die in this car?&rdquo; But it seemed we were always in a rush and didn&rsquo;t have time to do a good search.<\/font><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin:0;\"><font size=\"3\">&nbsp;<\/font><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin:0;\"><font size=\"3\">Then it got so bad we came armed and ready. &ldquo;Quick roll down the windows! Here, I brought Daddy&rsquo;s cologne, make sure you spray the way back too.&rdquo; <\/font><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin:0;\"><font size=\"3\">&nbsp;<\/font><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin:0;\"><font size=\"3\">With each offense of our nostrils we&rsquo;d try to guess what the source of the smell could be.<\/font><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin:0;\">&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin:0;\"><font size=\"3\">&ldquo;It&rsquo;s damp upholstery from all the wet ski clothes when we went to Tahoe,&rdquo; guessed Hubby.<\/font><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin:0;\"><font size=\"3\">&nbsp;<\/font><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin:0;\"><font size=\"3\">&ldquo;No, it&rsquo;s food. Look under your seats kids. Do you see any moldy nuggets?&rdquo; was my guess.<\/font><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin:0;\"><font size=\"3\">&nbsp;<\/font><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin:0;\"><font size=\"3\">&ldquo;I think it&rsquo;s Whitney,&rdquo; Logan, always the shot taker, teased.<\/font><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin:0;\"><font size=\"3\">&nbsp;<\/font><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin:0;\"><font size=\"3\">&ldquo;I think it&rsquo;s Logan and he pooped his pants,&rdquo; Whitney fired back.<\/font><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin:0;\"><font size=\"3\">&nbsp;<\/font><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin:0;\"><font size=\"3\">&ldquo;Can&rsquo;t you find time to get this car to the car wash?&rdquo; Hubby foolishly fired a shot over the bow. <span>&nbsp;<\/span><span>&nbsp;<\/span><\/font><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin:0;\"><font size=\"3\">&nbsp;<\/font><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin:0;\"><font size=\"3\">I instantly volleyed back. &ldquo;Can&rsquo;t you find the dirty clothes hamper? That would definitely free up some time.&rdquo; <\/font><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin:0;\"><font size=\"3\">&nbsp;<\/font><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin:0;\"><font size=\"3\">Later, after everyone was done throwing each other under the bus, I was dropping the kids off at school when that awful smell became familiar. &ldquo;It&rsquo;s spoiled milk!&rdquo; I yelled to an empty car in my <em>Eureka<\/em><em>!<\/em> moment.<\/font><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin:0;\"><font size=\"3\">&nbsp;<\/font><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin:0;\"><font size=\"3\">When I got home, I grabbed a trash bag to begin my hard target search. First, I cleared all the junk from the way back. Finding nothing I moved to the second row seats. Random Goldfish, crayons, a stinky sock, but no sour milk. Next, I moved to the middle row and scavenged under the seats. More garbage, toys and (a-ha!) the DVD player remote. I even sniffed the floor mats under Whitney&rsquo;s seat, since I remembered she had milk with her last in-transit Happy Meal. Finally, I targeted the over-stuffed pockets on the backs of the front seats, elbow deep in garbage, gadgets and gunk.<\/font><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin:0;\"><font size=\"3\">&nbsp;<\/font><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin:0;\"><font size=\"3\">I have never been so disgusted to find exactly what I was looking for. <\/font><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin:0;\"><font size=\"3\">&nbsp;<\/font><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin:0;\"><font size=\"3\">The smell hit me a second before my fingers encountered a coagulated, putrid mush of sour milk and possibly Goldfish or Chex Mix. The culprit: a McDonald&rsquo;s milk jug shoved deep down on its side, a slow leak (over weeks??) mixing with the stray snack foods. And to make it really interesting, it was caked on everything else shoved in the pocket with the only clean-up solution being to reach my hand in there and scrape it out. I did use a Clorox wipe as a shield, but nothing can take away the trauma I suffered. <\/font><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin:0;\"><font size=\"3\">&nbsp;<\/font><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin:0;\"><font size=\"3\">After that dry heave experience &ndash; new rule. To heck with healthy the next time we grab a meal on the go. Sodas all around. The worst it can do is stain my carpets, make everything sticky and contribute to childhood obesity. <\/font><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin:0;\"><font size=\"3\">&nbsp;<\/font><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin:0;\"><font size=\"3\">That&rsquo;s still way better than sour milk under my fingernails.<\/font><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Let&rsquo;s play a game shall we? &nbsp; Take a look in my car and you could probably guess what the Wheeler family has been up&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-9850","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.3 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Name That Putrid Smell - Kelli M. 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