{"id":9695,"date":"2009-01-26T12:49:29","date_gmt":"2009-01-26T12:49:29","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/momservations.wordpress.com\/2009\/01\/26\/momservations-for-a-new-year"},"modified":"2009-01-26T12:49:29","modified_gmt":"2009-01-26T12:49:29","slug":"momservations-for-a-new-year","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/momservations.com\/index.php\/2009\/01\/26\/momservations-for-a-new-year\/","title":{"rendered":"Momservations for a New Year"},"content":{"rendered":"<p class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin:0;\"><font size=\"4\">With the first month of 2009 coming to a close (and a few more gray hairs&nbsp;to hide), here&rsquo;s some Momservations for each day of January:<\/font><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin:0;\"><font size=\"4\">&nbsp;<\/font><\/p>\n<ul style=\"margin-top:0;\" type=\"disc\">\n<li class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin:0;\"><font size=\"4\">It is a beautiful sight to behold watching your children head back into the halls of education &ndash; after Christmas break.<\/font> <\/li>\n<li class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin:0;\"><font size=\"4\">It is a good day if your butt hits a chair before bedtime &ndash; car seats and toilet seats excluded.<\/font> <\/li>\n<li class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin:0;\"><font size=\"4\">A grocery list lives on in perpetuity.<\/font> <\/li>\n<li class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin:0;\"><font size=\"4\">Siblings: Live to fight, Fight to live.<\/font> <\/li>\n<li class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin:0;\"><font size=\"4\">People would rather complain than give a compliment. Teach your children differently.<\/font> <\/li>\n<li class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin:0;\"><font size=\"4\">Comedians are born at the dinner table.<\/font> <\/li>\n<li class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin:0;\"><font size=\"4\">Nothing says love more than a homemade birthday card that uses all your tape and loses your scissors.<\/font> <\/li>\n<li class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin:0;\"><font size=\"4\">You&rsquo;ll have to come up with something better than boogers, vomit and diarrhea to gross out a mom.<\/font> <\/li>\n<li class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin:0;\"><font size=\"4\">If mom ain&rsquo;t happy, no one&rsquo;s happy. It&rsquo;s just a fact.<\/font> <\/li>\n<li class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin:0;\"><font size=\"4\">Nothing puts the breaks on a productive day like a phone call from the school nurse.<\/font> <\/li>\n<li class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin:0;\"><font size=\"4\">You can teach the lesson by letting them clean up the spill, or you can save a bigger mess and clean it up yourself.<\/font> <\/li>\n<li class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin:0;\"><font size=\"4\">Don&rsquo;t cry over spilled milk &ndash; yell and demand it be cleaned up before it soaks into the rug.<\/font> <\/li>\n<li class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin:0;\"><font size=\"4\">There is a special place in heaven for mothers who still love their teenage children.<\/font> <\/li>\n<li class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin:0;\"><font size=\"4\">A panic attack will pass, but gray hairs are forever.<\/font> <\/li>\n<li class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin:0;\"><font size=\"4\">If an uneaten lunch gets thrown away at school and Mom doesn&rsquo;t see it, does it still count as consumed?<\/font> <\/li>\n<li class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin:0;\"><font size=\"4\">The Freedom of Information Act holds no authority over a pre-teen girl avoiding the consequences of being caught in a lie.<\/font> <\/li>\n<li class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin:0;\"><font size=\"4\">A seasoned mom can detect the sound from behind a closed door of pee splattering all over a freshly cleaned toilet because a young man is being careless with his aim.<\/font> <\/li>\n<li class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin:0;\"><font size=\"4\">What is dessert if not a bargaining tool?<\/font> <\/li>\n<li class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin:0;\"><font size=\"4\">The person who invented mobile DVD players deserves the Nobel Peace Prize.<\/font> <\/li>\n<li class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin:0;\"><font size=\"4\">Anyone who wants proof that life isn&rsquo;t fair should check the pay stub for the job of motherhood.<\/font> <\/li>\n<li class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin:0;\"><font size=\"4\">The smell of a baby, a freshly bathed child (who really did wash their hair) and brownies are scents of heaven.<\/font> <\/li>\n<li class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin:0;\"><font size=\"4\">A boy and his XBox are soon parted when a note from a teacher comes home.<\/font> <\/li>\n<li class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin:0;\"><font size=\"4\">A girl and her Hannah Montana\/Jonas Brothers\/Radio Disney CD&rsquo;s are soon parted after a phone call from a former BFF&rsquo;s mother.<\/font> <\/li>\n<li class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin:0;\"><font size=\"4\">Definition of a miracle: Getting everyone in one household to agree on which TV program to watch.<\/font> <\/li>\n<li class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin:0;\"><font size=\"4\">Adding a second bathroom is worth the money and will add years to your life (and possibly save a marriage). <\/font><\/li>\n<li class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"margin:0;\"><font size=\"4\">Thank you Lord for: <\/font><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"text-indent:-.25in;margin:0 0 0 1in;\"><font size=\"4\"><span>&#8211;<span style=\"font:7pt &quot;\"><font face=\"Arial\">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; <\/font><\/span><\/span>doors that shuts (and lock)<\/font><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"text-indent:-.25in;margin:0 0 0 1in;\"><font size=\"4\"><span>&#8211;<span style=\"font:7pt &quot;\"><font face=\"Arial\">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; <\/font><\/span><\/span>a 7-hour school day<\/font><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"text-indent:-.25in;margin:0 0 0 1in;\"><font size=\"4\"><span>&#8211;<span style=\"font:7pt &quot;\"><font face=\"Arial\">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; <\/font><\/span><\/span>baby wipes<\/font><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"text-indent:-.25in;margin:0 0 0 1in;\"><font size=\"4\"><span>&#8211;<span style=\"font:7pt &quot;\"><font face=\"Arial\">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; <\/font><\/span><\/span>bedtime<\/font><\/p>\n<p class=\"MsoNormal\" style=\"text-indent:-.25in;margin:0 0 0 1in;\"><font size=\"4\"><span>&#8211;<span style=\"font:7pt &quot;\"><font face=\"Arial\">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; <\/font><\/span><\/span>wine<\/font><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>With the first month of 2009 coming to a close (and a few more gray hairs&nbsp;to hide), here&rsquo;s some Momservations for each day of January:&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-9695","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.3 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Momservations for a New Year - Kelli M. 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