{"id":9334,"date":"2008-09-22T10:13:17","date_gmt":"2008-09-22T10:13:17","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/momservations.wordpress.com\/2008\/09\/22\/momservations"},"modified":"2008-09-22T10:13:17","modified_gmt":"2008-09-22T10:13:17","slug":"momservations","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/momservations.com\/index.php\/2008\/09\/22\/momservations\/","title":{"rendered":"Momservations"},"content":{"rendered":"

Just a few observations I’ve made in my brief mom career:<\/em><\/font><\/p>\n

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School “Picture Day” becomes a battle of looking cool vs. looking adorable after about 2nd<\/sup> grade.<\/font><\/p>\n

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You’ll do well in life once you concede that Mom always wins.<\/font><\/p>\n

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The harder someone works on a homework assignment, the more likely you’ll find it left on the counter after dropping the kids off at school.<\/font><\/p>\n

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You can get a kid to do anything for a Slurpee.<\/font><\/p>\n

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Your child will decide to try out that inappropriate word or phrase at some point to impress your friends.<\/font><\/p>\n

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They will tell Daddy they learned it from you.<\/font><\/p>\n

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Freshly washed sheets seem to precede a sudden onset of bed wetting.<\/font><\/p>\n

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A booger picked is a booger eaten or at least wiped on your furniture.<\/font><\/p>\n

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Bad karma reveals itself in the group you get stuck chaperoning for the class field trip.<\/font><\/p>\n

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Jell-O or a fruit roll-up can represent a nutritious food group in a pinch.<\/font><\/p>\n

 <\/font><\/p>\n

At some point, your sweet, perfect child will be the kid that throws tanbark or dumps sand on another kid’s head at the park.<\/font><\/p>\n

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If you haven’t spent large chunks of time in every Target, grocery store, department store, Wal-Mart, Costco or Toys R Us bathroom, then you’ve never potty trained a toddler.<\/font><\/p>\n

 <\/font><\/p>\n

If you’ve never been peed on or had to intervene in a public urination, then you only have girl children.<\/font><\/p>\n

 <\/font><\/p>\n

If you don’t know who Zac and Vanessa are, can’t name a Jonas Brother, or don’t know the difference between Hannah Montana and Miley Cyrus then you only have boy children.<\/font><\/p>\n

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Watching a sleeping child will make it all better again.<\/font><\/p>\n

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?        <\/span>?        <\/span>?<\/font><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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