{"id":32703,"date":"2020-11-18T14:01:24","date_gmt":"2020-11-18T22:01:24","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.momservations.com\/?p=32703"},"modified":"2020-11-18T14:01:24","modified_gmt":"2020-11-18T22:01:24","slug":"how-it-started-vs-how-its-going","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/momservations.com\/index.php\/2020\/11\/18\/how-it-started-vs-how-its-going\/","title":{"rendered":"How It Started vs. How It’s Going"},"content":{"rendered":"

Momservation:<\/strong> You may be looking for their receipts to send them back now, but just wait. You\u2019re going to turn into June Cleaver, begging to do their laundry for them.<\/p>\n

☺\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 ☺\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 ☺<\/p>\n

There\u2019s this funny trend on Twitter right now where people post pictures representing How It Started vs. How It\u2019s Going\/How It Ended. Example:<\/p>\n

\"\"\"\"<\/p>\n

So with the release of my new book, DON\u2019T FORGET YOUR LUNCH, DIAPERS TO DIPLOMA PARENTING WISDOM<\/a>, that is a \u201cgreatest hits\u201d collection of my Momservations\u00ae columns and blog spanning 16 years, I realized there has definitely been a How It Started vs. How It\u2019s Going shift to the Empty Nest years.<\/p>\n

That\u2019s because in those years when \u201cthe days are long,\u201d I used to daydream about running away from home where I wouldn\u2019t have to hear Bob the Builder ask me again for the 100th<\/sup> time \u201cCan we build it?\u201d or hear that bratty Caillou teaching my kids to whine \u201cBut I don\u2019t want to do it, Mommy!\u201d. (For today\u2019s parents it would be escaping from \u201cBaby Shark.\u201d)<\/p>\n

I used to dream of a world where kids actually picked up their stuff, washed their own stinky PE clothes before Sunday night, and unloaded the dishwasher without asking\u2014 imaging it must just be a mythical time and place.<\/p>\n

I used to escape to the movies (oh, how I miss you Regal cinemas and your buttery popcorn, reclining seats, and over-priced root beer and Junior Mints) when I just needed a break from Momming So Hard.<\/p>\n

But now that I\u2019m in the \u201cyears are short\u201d era, when I hope my college kids will find time to come home and visit me, I don\u2019t even recognize this woman tripping all over herself to take care of her young adult children\u2014telling them \u201cdon\u2019t worry I got it\u201d about picking up their stuff that I miss seeing strewn all over the house, begging them to let me make them some food, do their laundry.<\/p>\n

Oh how the years teach what the days never knew.<\/p>\n

So here\u2019s my contribution to the How It Started vs. How It\u2019s Going\u2014Empty Nest Edition. I thought this graphic might help all you parents struggling with kids being constantly underfoot during the pandemic to see that one day, in the not too distant future, you will be wanting to coddle these little pain-in-the-a**es rather than ship them off to that mythical land where they listen.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n
\n

How It Started<\/strong><\/h3>\n<\/td>\n

\n

How It\u2019s Going<\/strong><\/h3>\n<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n

 <\/p>\n

Mom: Locks self in bathroom with People magazine to try and steal a few moments of quiet away from demanding children<\/p>\n<\/td>\n

 <\/p>\n

Mom: \u201cWant to play a game? Want to watch a movie together? Want to go shopping\u2014I\u2019ll buy!\u201d<\/p>\n<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n

 <\/p>\n

Tripping over toys: \u201cGod bless America and all the stars above! How many times am I going to have to ask you to pick up this stuff?\u201d<\/p>\n<\/td>\n

 <\/p>\n

Tripping over stuff: \u201cOh it\u2019s okay sweetie, don\u2019t worry about it. I didn\u2019t need that pinky toe anyway. Let me put it away for you.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n

 <\/p>\n

Growling, \u201cWould it kill you to put in a load of your own laundry now and again?\u201d<\/p>\n<\/td>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cOh honey, can I do some laundry for you?\u201d already sorting it out of their suitcase<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Yelling, \u201cI\u2019m not a short order cook!\u201d or \u201cFine. Then starve. You\u2019ll eat when you\u2019re hungry.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/td>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cWhat do you want for breakfast\u2014eggs, pancakes, waffles, bacon?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHere, let me make you lunch.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m going to make you a 5-course dinner!\u201d<\/p>\n<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n

 <\/p>\n

Waking them at noon: \u201cWhat\u2014are you going to sleep the whole day away? That\u2019s what you get for staying up so late!\u201d<\/p>\n<\/td>\n

 <\/p>\n

Stopping your husband before he wakes them: \u201cOh, don\u2019t wake the baby! They\u2019re so tired after staying up all night!\u201d<\/p>\n<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n

 <\/p>\n

#EmptyNesting\u00a0 #HowItStartedvsHowItsGoing\u00a0 #DaysAreLongYearsAreShort<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

One mom’s take at the latest Twitter trend<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":32704,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2511,165],"tags":[2740,2741,2461,2,2742,86,3,5,2743,2744,2519,28,1361,302],"class_list":["post-32703","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-empty-nesting","category-parenting-humor-2","tag-days-are-long-years-are-short","tag-dont-forget-your-lunch","tag-empty-nesting","tag-family","tag-how-it-started-vs-how-its-going","tag-kelli-wheeler","tag-kids","tag-momservations","tag-motherhood","tag-pandemic-parenting","tag-parenting-college-kids","tag-parenting-humor","tag-teens","tag-twitter"],"yoast_head":"\nHow It Started vs. How It's Going - Kelli M. 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