{"id":29807,"date":"2019-06-28T15:46:05","date_gmt":"2019-06-28T22:46:05","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.momservations.com\/?p=29807"},"modified":"2019-06-28T15:46:05","modified_gmt":"2019-06-28T22:46:05","slug":"no-parent-hopes-for-their-kid-to-be-an-idiot","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/momservations.com\/index.php\/2019\/06\/28\/no-parent-hopes-for-their-kid-to-be-an-idiot\/","title":{"rendered":"No Parent Hopes for Their Kid to Be an Idiot"},"content":{"rendered":"

Momservation: <\/strong>I pray every day for God to keep you, my child, healthy, happy and safe. But ultimately, it\u2019s in your hands.<\/h4>\n

☺\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 ☺\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 ☺<\/h4>\n

\u201cThey won\u2019t understand until they have kids of their own.\u201d<\/h4>\n

When you are waiting for your young adult children to quit causing you anxiety and heartache with their choices, this is just the shittiest consolation to hear. It\u2019s like giving a man dying of thirst an empty glass and then telling him to wait for condensation to occur.<\/h4>\n

All of you with college-age kids right now are high-fiving me for nailing that analogy.<\/h4>\n

Actually, the better commiseration I got was from another mom of young adults\u2014this ambiguous parenting stage where you ask yourself: How do I parent this shit? Is it my job to still try to steer them straight or is it time to simply sit back and point out they are being idiots?<\/em><\/h4>\n

It was my friend, Michelle, who gave me the answer when I vented that after all these years of putting excellence into parenting, was it too much to ask that I start getting excellence in return from my college kids?<\/h4>\n

\u201cToo soon, Kel,\u201d she said. \u201cYou are trying to cash that check too soon. You still got a few more years until you get a return on that investment.\u201d<\/h4>\n

And there it was. She talked me off the ledge. I stepped back, thanked her for the outstretched hand and settled into the idea of my kids being mutual funds instead of high-yield stocks.<\/h4>\n

Seriously though, this summer has been a tough one. All my friends who sent their high school graduates off to college only to get a kid back home that first summer high on independence and overindulgence tried to warn me. It\u2019s like trying to pen up a wild stallion who sees no reason why their corral should be kept clean or let you know if they will be home for dinner.<\/h4>\n

But I wish those were the only challenges we\u2019re struggling with.<\/h4>\n

So again, I ask, how do you parent someone who can\u2019t possibly understand how they are torturing you because they are a stock that hasn\u2019t matured yet?<\/h4>\n

But I\u2019m going to try, here, to put it into perspective. And maybe, just maybe, I won\u2019t have to wait until they have kids of their own or decide to become a blue-chip stock.<\/h4>\n

Here\u2019s the thing my young stallion and my little foal:<\/h4>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

When you give birth to another human being and you look into the eyes of a miracle\u2026suddenly feeling a love so selfless and powerful and pure\u2026that it makes you easily willing to lay your life down to keep this person safe, happy and healthy\u2026here\u2019s what you DON\u2019T<\/strong> hope for this amazing soul you\u2019ve been blessed to call your son or daughter:<\/h4>\n
    \n
  • \n

    You don\u2019t hope they make the worst decisions possible.<\/h4>\n<\/li>\n
  • \n

    You don\u2019t hope they gravitate toward danger and risk.<\/h4>\n<\/li>\n
  • \n

    You don\u2019t hope they cultivate an addiction.<\/h4>\n<\/li>\n
  • \n

    You don\u2019t hope they are reckless and impulsive.<\/h4>\n<\/li>\n
  • \n

    You don\u2019t hope they surround themselves with people eager to make bad choices.<\/h4>\n<\/li>\n
  • \n

    You don\u2019t hope they fail to educate themselves dooming them to a life of struggle.<\/h4>\n<\/li>\n
  • \n

    You don\u2019t hope they waste their gifts and talents.<\/h4>\n<\/li>\n
  • \n

    You don\u2019t hope they have no ambition and no drive to succeed.<\/h4>\n<\/li>\n
  • \n

    You don\u2019t hope they run away from problems.<\/h4>\n<\/li>\n
  • \n

    You don\u2019t hope they avoid responsibility and accountability.<\/h4>\n<\/li>\n
  • \n

    You don\u2019t hope they reject integrity and honor.<\/h4>\n<\/li>\n
  • \n

    You don\u2019t hope for them to fail.<\/h4>\n<\/li>\n
  • \n

    You don\u2019t hope for them to self-harm.<\/h4>\n<\/li>\n
  • \n

    You don\u2019t hope for them to not learn from their mistakes.<\/h4>\n<\/li>\n
  • \n

    You don\u2019t hope for them to make a decision that will haunt them for the rest of their lives\u2014or cost them their life.<\/h4>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n

    So to sit back, and watch you play fast and loose with so many of the things a parent doesn\u2019t hope for a child, because you think you are over 18 and mature enough to call your own shots\u2026you could not torture a parent more.<\/h4>\n

    But you won\u2019t understand that until you have kids of your own.<\/h4>\n

    Or maybe, just maybe, you can stop for a second and try on some of the hopes and dreams we have for you and see if they fit.<\/h4>\n

    Or better yet, imagine all the very best things in life you would hope for a child of your own one day. Try it. It\u2019s like playing the What would you do with a billion dollars?<\/em> speculation game. If you could have your child do anything, be anything, have anything their heart desires\u2026who would you want them to be?<\/h4>\n

    Would you want them to be you in this moment?<\/h4>\n

    Please. Please, give this woman dying of thirst a cool glass of water.<\/h4>\n

    <\/h4>\n

    #RaisingYoungAdults\u00a0\u00a0 #GrowingPains\u00a0\u00a0 #RoomToGrow\u00a0 #EmptyNesting<\/h4>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    The list of things you DON’T hope for your children.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":29808,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2511,7],"tags":[2570,2571,2461,2,2572,2573,2574,86,3,5,6,28,2575,2576,1361,2577,2578],"class_list":["post-29807","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-empty-nesting","category-parenting-2","tag-challenges-of-raising-young-adults","tag-difficult-of-raising-young-adults","tag-empty-nesting","tag-family","tag-first-summer-home-from-college","tag-growing-pains","tag-hopes-for-you-kids","tag-kelli-wheeler","tag-kids","tag-momservations","tag-parenting","tag-parenting-humor","tag-raising-young-adults","tag-room-to-grow","tag-teens","tag-what-you-dont-hope-for-your-children","tag-young-adults"],"yoast_head":"\nNo Parent Hopes for Their Kid to Be an Idiot - Kelli M. 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