{"id":258,"date":"2010-09-14T14:19:17","date_gmt":"2010-09-14T21:19:17","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/momservations.wordpress.com\/?p=258"},"modified":"2010-09-14T14:19:17","modified_gmt":"2010-09-14T21:19:17","slug":"green-poo-what-to-do","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/momservations.com\/index.php\/2010\/09\/14\/green-poo-what-to-do\/","title":{"rendered":"Green Poo What to Do"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><strong>Momservation: <\/strong>Once you get past the potty training phase tolerance for bodily fluids and waste is inversely proportional to age.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">\u263a\u263a\u263a<\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignright size-medium wp-image-260\" alt=\"gumby-798463_bmp\" src=\"https:\/\/momservations.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/09\/gumby-798463_bmp-186x300.jpg\" width=\"186\" height=\"300\" \/>\u00a0A wise friend once told me all conversations lead to sex or poo (to paraphrase).<\/p>\n<p>So let\u2019s just cut to the chase a talk about poo.<\/p>\n<p>Specifically green poo.<\/p>\n<p>We had this unusual \u201cdeposit\u201d last night\u00a0by one of my children (that will heretofore be known as Gumby to save me from being sued for defamation of character when my kids one day realize I write about this sh**. Literally.).<\/p>\n<p>I swear I could\u2019ve charged admission to see it.<\/p>\n<p>Of course, it only caused a minor scene compared to the great Fecal Matter Incident of 2008 when we had to shut down a 4<sup>th<\/sup> of July pool party while I typed into Google: <em>Poop in Pool What to Do<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Yet, still, it had everyone crammed in the bathroom standing around a toilet, peering down at what could only be described as a bright green bagel dog specimen, scratching their heads and pondering thoughts aloud like:<\/p>\n<p>\u201cDo you think it\u2019s peas? Gumby had a lot of peas yesterday.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cGood God, how many peas did Gumby eat?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI thought peas didn\u2019t break down. Wouldn\u2019t there be little green balls and not one big green clump?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cNo that\u2019s corn. When you eat corn it\u2019s like a magic trick. It\u2019s gone \u2013 now it\u2019s back!<\/p>\n<p>\u201cIt looks like green Playdo.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cDo you think Gumby ate Playdo?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cNo! He\/she\u2019s not two for heaven\u2019s sake!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cSalad?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cNo, salad would look more like roughage. That\u2019s a solid turd.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cGumby had a Gatorade. There\u2019s a lot of dye in that.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cNo, he\/she had grape flavor. It\u2019d be a purple poo.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cShould we be concerned about this?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI don\u2019t know. Have you had green poo before?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI\u2019ve had red poo with black spots. Too much watermelon.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cMom, can we just flush it and go now?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI don\u2019t know &#8211; should I get a sample and take it to the doctor?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cNah, he\/she\u2019ll be fine. Let\u2019s see what color they poop tomorrow.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>The anticipation is right up there with the new fall TV line-up that starts this week. Not nearly as exciting as Family Ear Wax Night*\u00a0though.<\/p>\n<p>*This blog will soon be available under ARCHIVES<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Family gathers around the toilet for a hilarious exchange over a strangely colored &#8220;deposit.&#8221;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[7,1],"tags":[2,76,77,78,79,80,3,5,28,81,82],"class_list":["post-258","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-parenting-2","category-uncategorized","tag-family","tag-fecal-matter","tag-gatorade","tag-google","tag-green-poo","tag-gumby","tag-kids","tag-momservations","tag-parenting-humor","tag-potty-training","tag-unusual-colored-feces"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.4 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Green Poo What to Do - Kelli M. 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