{"id":25592,"date":"2018-12-11T16:29:26","date_gmt":"2018-12-12T00:29:26","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.momservations.com\/?p=25592"},"modified":"2018-12-11T16:29:26","modified_gmt":"2018-12-12T00:29:26","slug":"i-dare-you-to-say-it-to-my-face","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/momservations.com\/index.php\/2018\/12\/11\/i-dare-you-to-say-it-to-my-face\/","title":{"rendered":"I Dare You to Say it to My Face"},"content":{"rendered":"

Momservation: <\/strong>Hate is heavy. The people with the power of positive thinking and forgiveness are a hell of a lot more fun with a lighter load to carry.<\/p>\n

☺\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 ☺\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 ☺<\/p>\n

I can tell you what will make America great again.<\/p>\n

Common decency.<\/p>\n

And it doesn\u2019t start at the White House (although that would be a logical place to start), or Congress, or red or blue states.<\/p>\n

It starts with you.<\/p>\n

If you are parents, of children of any age, your next responsibility after modeling the right thing to do is hold those children of yours accountable for their actions and words.<\/p>\n

We used to do this not too long ago: Instill common decency. I am 47 years old and I still remember when I wouldn\u2019t dare say a foul word or something hateful in front of an adult. ANY adult.<\/p>\n

Yes, there used to be a time when, as a kid, if you were going to break one of the big No-No\u2019s of life\u2014If you\u00a0 can\u2019t say anything nice, don\u2019t say it at all<\/em><\/strong>\u2014you would look all around you before you dared say something hurtful. If there wasn\u2019t a parent, grandparent, aunt, uncle, neighbor, teacher, crotchety old guy up the street, or a stranger giving you the eye in case you were thinking of saying it\u2026then you might blurt out something that people would consider an everyday Tweet in our \u201cgreat\u201d new society.<\/p>\n

Something like: \u201cWell, you\u2019re just an idiot if that\u2019s what you think.\u201d\"\"<\/p>\n

Now, if you hadn\u2019t looked good enough, or said it quiet enough, suddenly you would hear from an adult looming nearby, \u201cWhat did you just say?\u201d<\/p>\n

Then your blood would run cold, your throat would squeeze shut, and a rock would have just dropped into your stomach\u2026because you knew you were in trouble.<\/p>\n

That\u2019s what the sprouting roots of common decency feels like.<\/p>\n

But if an adult wasn\u2019t nearby, and you thought you were almighty enough to pull off bad behavior, there was another check in our society you still had to worry about. You had to be prepared that someone might call you out and say:<\/p>\n

\u201cI dare you to say that to my face.\u201d<\/p>\n

And your blood would run cold, your throat would squeeze shut, and a rock would have just dropped in your stomach\u2026because you knew you were either too chicken to actually say something so nasty to someone\u2019s face or you were about to get in a fight over what you just dared to say.<\/p>\n

That\u2019s called being held accountable. That\u2019s also seems long gone in today\u2019s society.<\/p>\n

We can blame the people at the top, the leaders, social media, video games, toxic pundits, 24-hour news cycle; we can spin all around looking for scapegoats and pointing blame for our societal bad behavior these days\u2014remember that no accountability thing I mentioned?\u2014but all everyone needs to do is just look in the mirror.<\/p>\n

It starts with you.<\/p>\n

Be a good role model. And then dare to hold yourself and those you are supposed to modeling common decency for, accountable.<\/p>\n

I once wrote a popular column, Mom\u2019s Top 10 Rules for Kids<\/em><\/a>. I wrote it over ten years ago and people still stop me and tell me they have it taped to their fridge.<\/p>\n

The number one rule?<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. First respect yourself. If you do, no other rules apply.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    But I think it\u2019s time to make a new list, because there\u2019s an awful lot of people not following Mom\u2019s Number One Rule anymore.<\/p>\n

    So let\u2019s go back to the basics of common decency.<\/p>\n

    The Top 5 Rules of Common Decency<\/u><\/strong><\/p>\n

      \n
    1. Treat others the way you want to be treated<\/strong>. This used to be called the Golden Rule. It\u2019s time that we all stay golden, Pony Boy.<\/li>\n
    2. If you can\u2019t say anything nice, don\u2019t say anything at all<\/strong>. If you wouldn\u2019t say it to someone\u2019s face, with God as your witness\u2026as Momma used to say, \u201cThen keep your damn mouth shut.\u201d (And quit hiding behind your toxic keyboard.)<\/li>\n
    3. Do no harm<\/strong>. Not with your words. Not with your hands. Not with your avatar, your phone, your computer, your Finsta. And Lord help us all, not with a gun.<\/li>\n
    4. Let it go<\/strong>. Don\u2019t jump into someone\u2019s negative energy cesspool with them. Let them stew in their own hateful, disgusting, unimpressive, pathetic swamp of their own making. The people with the power of positive thinking and forgiveness are a hell of a lot more fun with a lighter load to carry. Hate is heavy.<\/li>\n
    5. Pretend someone is watching whom you would be devastated if you lost their respect<\/strong>. Because someone is always watching. Be it your children, your mother or father, a favorite grandmother, your best friend, or God. Pretend they are always standing next to you. Do you want to turn and see admiration and love in their eyes or disgust and disappointment?<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

      I know what I\u2019d pick\u2026<\/p>\n

      #BeTheChangeYouWantToSeeInTheWorld\u00a0 #CommonDecency\u00a0 #Accountability<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

      The Top 5 Rules of Common Decency. It’s time we stay golden Pony Boy.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":25593,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2170],"tags":[2498,2499,2500,2,2501,86,3,2502,5,6,1361,2503],"class_list":["post-25592","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-inspirational","tag-accountability","tag-be-the-change-you-wish-to-to-see-in-the-world","tag-common-decency","tag-family","tag-i-dare-you-to-say-it-to-my-face","tag-kelli-wheeler","tag-kids","tag-moms-top-10-rules-for-kids","tag-momservations","tag-parenting","tag-teens","tag-top-5-rules-of-common-decency"],"yoast_head":"\nI Dare You to Say it to My Face - Kelli M. 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