{"id":247,"date":"2010-08-31T13:21:25","date_gmt":"2010-08-31T20:21:25","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/momservations.wordpress.com\/?p=247"},"modified":"2010-08-31T13:21:25","modified_gmt":"2010-08-31T20:21:25","slug":"choose-a-hand-position","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/momservations.com\/index.php\/2010\/08\/31\/choose-a-hand-position\/","title":{"rendered":"Choose a Hand Position"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><strong>\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Momservation: <\/strong>Homework is the coconut in the chocolate bar of Back to School Almond Joy.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align:center;\">\u263a\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u263a\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u263a\u00a0<\/p>\n<figure id=\"attachment_248\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-248\" style=\"width: 200px\" class=\"wp-caption alignleft\"><a href=\"http:\/\/momservations.files.wordpress.com\/2010\/08\/darby-10-091.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-248\" title=\"Behind Bars With Darby\" src=\"http:\/\/momservations.files.wordpress.com\/2010\/08\/darby-10-091.jpg?w=200\" alt=\"\" width=\"200\" height=\"300\" \/><\/a><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-248\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">Are my kids going to jail or school?<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>I\u2019m starting to wonder if I accidentally sent my kids to military school.<\/p>\n<p>Every year when school starts my kids come home with new stricter rules. It\u2019s gotten so extreme that I almost said, \u201cGood morning, Warden,\u201d when I saw the principal today.<\/p>\n<p>In fact, I\u2019m starting to think I was lucky to get out of elementary school alive with all the new rules they constituted for \u201cthe children\u2019s safety.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Here\u2019s a list of things kids are no longer allowed to do at my kids\u2019 school:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>No running at recess. <\/strong>Someone might trip and fall. Gasp!<strong><\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>No open toed shoes. <\/strong>Someone might skin or stub a toe at recess. Oh no!<strong><\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>No sleeveless shirts. <\/strong>Someone might get a sunburn? They can\u2019t get scraped if they trip and fall because they\u2019re not allowed to run\u2026<strong><\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>No playing tag or chase. <\/strong>This ties into the running but I think it is the precursor to outlawing laughing and having fun\u2026<strong> <\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>No talking at lunch if it gets too loud. <\/strong>Is there a way to keep 200 kids quiet in a confined space? I can\u2019t keep 2 kids in the back seat quiet.<strong><\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>No one\u2019s excused to recess until everyone\u2019s done eating and it\u2019s quiet. <\/strong>So, basically, you have no recess.<strong><\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>If you are late you must get your hand stamped before going to class. <\/strong>And become the scarlet letter bearer of tardiness \u2013 we\u2019ve come so far since the 1600\u2019s.<strong><\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>As stupid as I think all these rules are I have encouraged my kids to go with the flow because you have to learn to adapt to rules that you don\u2019t necessarily agree with or like to function in society.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cRules are there for a reason,\u201d I tell them. And then under my breath I say, \u201cBecause some idiot ruined it for everyone else.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>But the kids came home with a new rule the other day that has finally made me say, \u201cOkay, time to fight the system.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>It is the <strong>Choose a Hand Position <\/strong>rule. Meaning whenever the kids are in the hallways and lined up they must choose a hand position: clasped behind their backs, hands in pockets or folded across their chests.<\/p>\n<p>What\u2019s next? Shackles on ankles and wrists?<\/p>\n<p>The kids have been complaining that if they dare walk with their hands at their sides they are being yelled at from all directions and commanded, \u201cFind a hand position!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Yes, sir, I mean, ma\u2019am, I mean, salute!<\/p>\n<p>I send my kids to school to be educated not reformed.<\/p>\n<p>Obviously, this is another knee-jerk reaction to a few kids being unable to keep their hands and feet to themselves. I hate to see what the blanket rule is going to be when kids start complaining, \u201cJohnny won\u2019t stop looking at me!\u201d and the administration keeps being lazy. <strong><em>Choose an Eyeball Position?<\/em> <\/strong><em>\u201cYou may look up, down or straight ahead otherwise walk with your eyes closed!\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Because I didn\u2019t send my kids to military school, because this latest rule is unsafe (any day now a kid\u2019s going to trip on the kid in front of them and not get their hands out of their pockets in time to brace their fall \u2013 concussion, knocked out front teeth seems like a good alternative?), but mainly because these generalized rules for a small minority creating misdemeanor problems are getting out of control &#8211; I\u2019ll be at the first PTA meeting to teach my kids to stand up and say, \u201cEnough is enough. We don\u2019t agree with this and we need to figure out a better solution. Rules should be reasonable.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>And that hand stamp of shame? I know a place where the sun don\u2019t shine for that thing\u2026<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The latest ridiculous school rule makes Mom wonder if she sent her kids to military school instead of elementary school.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[7],"tags":[63,2,3,64,5,6,28,65,66],"class_list":["post-247","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-parenting-2","tag-back-to-school","tag-family","tag-kids","tag-military-school","tag-momservations","tag-parenting","tag-parenting-humor","tag-pta-meetings","tag-school-rules"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.4 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Choose a Hand Position - Kelli M. 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