{"id":13826,"date":"2015-09-08T13:44:35","date_gmt":"2015-09-08T20:44:35","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.momservations.com\/?p=13826"},"modified":"2015-09-08T13:44:35","modified_gmt":"2015-09-08T20:44:35","slug":"what-will-you-talk-about","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/momservations.com\/index.php\/2015\/09\/08\/what-will-you-talk-about\/","title":{"rendered":"What Will You Talk About?"},"content":{"rendered":"

Momservation: \u201c<\/strong>All conversations lead back to sex and poop.\u201d AJ Salvetti. Dear friend and expert on sex and poop.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u263a\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u263a\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u263a<\/p>\n

Shall we play a game?*<\/p>\n

You\u2019re on your first get-away weekend with your spouse where you\u2019ve left the kids home alone. What is your number one concern?<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. You are worried the kids will throw a party while you\u2019re gone.<\/li>\n
  2. You are worried the kids will forget to feed the dog.<\/li>\n
  3. You are worried you\u2019re going to get a phone call that starts with, \u201cUm, there\u2019s something you should probably know\u2026\u201d<\/li>\n
  4. You are worried that after placing talking about the kids off limits and after 25 years of being together you will have nothing else to talk about.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    \"MeIf you answered A\u2014you\u2019re wrong. When we decided to go to San Francisco to see Billy Joel<\/a> in concert at AT&T Park<\/a> we farmed the kids out to sleep-overs at friends\u2019 houses. No worries there. And, technically, we still haven\u2019t left the kids home alone.<\/p>\n

    If you answered B\u2014you\u2019re wrong. It was my number two concern. (It helped that I had my dad and mother-in-law on stand-by in case both children forgot to feed the dog before they left for their sleep-overs.)<\/p>\n

    If you answered C\u2014you\u2019re wrong. My children would never call to give us a heads up. If something were to go down we\u2019d walk blindsided into the sh**storm, my older son would\u2019ve paid his baby sister $20 bucks to be the fall guy, and the future defense attorney would casually say, \u201cOh yeah. About that\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

    If you answered D\u2014congratulations, you are correct! And I\u2019m guessing you got this right because you too have faced the moment of panic when you realize: \u201cThis person knows all my stories! Heard \u2018em all 10 times over. I got nothin\u2019!\u201d<\/p>\n

    So what do you talk about when you\u2019re starting to date your spouse again because you\u2019re done or nearly done raising the kids?<\/p>\n

    Answer: Other people!<\/p>\n

    While waiting in line at the Swan Oyster Depot<\/a> on Polk Street we whispered about the \u201cMom of the Year\u201d in front of us who had slapped her kid, cussed like a sailor in front of her kids, and provided plenty of wine-swilling entertainment during our 45 minute wait for a seat (Totally worth it\u2014the fresh seafood was amazing.)<\/p>\n

    \"Best
    Best Shrimp\/Crab Louie in SF (at least on Polk St)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

    We chuckled about our waiter at the hole-in-the-wall restaurant who gave us amazing service and free food in his delight to be serving to \u201ca beautiful woman.\u201d (Hubby tipped him very well\u2014not sure if it was for his excellent taste in women or the service.)<\/p>\n

    We laughed (probably from the contact high) about the grandmas behind us at the concert who lit up their joints as soon as the lights went down.<\/p>\n

    We marveled about Billy<\/a> and how old he looked, but man, that dude\u2019s still got it going on! And boy can he assemble some amazing musicians and singers around him!<\/p>\n