{"id":13705,"date":"2015-05-19T12:29:42","date_gmt":"2015-05-19T19:29:42","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.momservations.com\/?p=13705"},"modified":"2015-05-19T12:29:42","modified_gmt":"2015-05-19T19:29:42","slug":"were-not-in-high-school-anymore-toto","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/momservations.com\/index.php\/2015\/05\/19\/were-not-in-high-school-anymore-toto\/","title":{"rendered":"We&#8217;re Not in High School Anymore Toto"},"content":{"rendered":"<h4><strong>Momservation: <\/strong>I still have the six-pack abs of my teenage years. They\u2019re just hidden underneath a koozie.<\/h4>\n<h4 style=\"text-align: center;\">\u263a\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u263a\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u263a<\/h4>\n<h4>I fully admit I\u2019m 44. That\u2019s not the issue here.<\/h4>\n<h4>I\u2019ve done the math. Plotted a graph. Created a timeline. Even sketched a Venn Diagram:<\/h4>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-13707\" src=\"https:\/\/momservations.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/05\/Venn-Diagram-on-aging.png\" alt=\"Venn Diagram on aging\" width=\"752\" height=\"533\" \/><\/p>\n<h4>It just doesn\u2019t add up:<\/h4>\n<h4>How can my kids be in high school when I SWEAR TO GOD I WAS JUST THERE!<\/h4>\n<h4>I have a theory though. I think our bodies age in dog years while our brains age in Giant Sequoia years and our eyeballs age somewhere in between.<\/h4>\n<h4>When I look in the mirror, granted, I see someone who needs to get her roots dyed more frequently than she likes to admit and has to have a best friend promise that if I ever land in a coma at the hospital they\u2019ll come before visiting hours and pluck all the random wild hairs that suddenly seem to grow like springtime poppies.<\/h4>\n<h4>But those carefree days when my future was a blank page and I was busy filling it up with giggly best friend sleep-overs, cute boys, school dances and football games, great feats of athleticism, even better 80\u2019s hair, sneaking out to dance clubs in the city, and convertible rides to Santa Cruz Beach Boardwalk\u2014I swear I could reach out and touch that ageless girl in the mirror.<\/h4>\n<h4>The only thing that jerks me back to reality (besides my accumulation of chins), is hearing my kids groan, \u201cOh, Mom,\u201d when I try to convince them that I once stood where they are now.<\/h4>\n<h4>My glory days have become <a href=\"https:\/\/www.snapchat.com\/\">Snapchat<\/a> fodder:<\/h4>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-13709\" src=\"https:\/\/momservations.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/05\/369-577x1024.png\" alt=\"369\" width=\"577\" height=\"1024\" \/><\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter wp-image-13710 size-large\" src=\"https:\/\/momservations.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/05\/380-577x1024.jpg\" alt=\"380\" width=\"577\" height=\"1024\" \/><\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-13711\" src=\"https:\/\/momservations.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/05\/381-577x1024.jpg\" alt=\"381\" width=\"577\" height=\"1024\" \/><\/p>\n<h4>*sigh*<\/h4>\n<h4>Well, at least it will be fun in 30 years watching my daughter have her existential crisis when she realizes she\u2019s not this girl who filled her phone with <a href=\"https:\/\/www.snapchat.com\/\">Snapchat<\/a> selfies anymore:<\/h4>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-13712\" src=\"https:\/\/momservations.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/05\/367-577x1024.png\" alt=\"367\" width=\"577\" height=\"1024\" \/><\/p>\n<h4>Yeah, I\u2019m thinkin\u2019 that\u2019s a crisis averted too. She ain\u2019t gonna miss that girl.<\/h4>\n<h4>#Enjoyingthejourney<\/h4>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Accepting the disconnect between how you see yourself and how your kids see you.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":13709,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[165],"tags":[1680,1681,1271,2,1682,1683,1684,1685,86,3,1686,5,28,1687,1688,1689,1361,1690],"class_list":["post-13705","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-parenting-humor-2","tag-1989-high-school-pics","tag-aging-gracefully","tag-best-mom-blogs","tag-family","tag-funny-high-school-pics","tag-great-venn-diagrams","tag-high-school","tag-high-school-memories","tag-kelli-wheeler","tag-kids","tag-midlife-crisis","tag-momservations","tag-parenting-humor","tag-snap-chat","tag-snap-chat-classics","tag-snap-chat-selfies","tag-teens","tag-when-your-teens-hit-high-school"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.4 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>We&#039;re Not in High School Anymore Toto - Kelli M. 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