{"id":13656,"date":"2015-04-14T11:16:50","date_gmt":"2015-04-14T18:16:50","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.momservations.com\/?p=13656"},"modified":"2015-04-14T11:16:50","modified_gmt":"2015-04-14T18:16:50","slug":"the-first-step-in-winning-the-war-against-autism","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/momservations.com\/index.php\/2015\/04\/14\/the-first-step-in-winning-the-war-against-autism\/","title":{"rendered":"The First Step in Winning the War Against Autism"},"content":{"rendered":"

Momservation: <\/strong>\u201cWhen you reach the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on.\u201d<\/em> Thomas Jefferson<\/h4>\n

\u263a\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u263a\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u263a<\/h4>\n

It is a strange and so far unexplained mystery of our generation for the dramatic rise in autism. If it hasn\u2019t touched you I\u2019d be amazed.<\/h4>\n

Autism spectrum disorders (ASD<\/a>) have infiltrated my friends. My neighbors. My family.<\/h4>\n

I have seen ASD caught early and with specialized support services have amazing results\u2014a child flourishing despite their brain being programmed to hold them back.<\/h4>\n

I have witnessed denial and ambivalence toward seeking out the programs and support that would give hope and direction to an ASD child floating a lonely, rudderless journey lost at sea.<\/h4>\n

April is Autism Awareness Month<\/strong> <\/a>and I wanted to share with my readers, who\u2019ve undoubtedly been touched by ASD, a message of hope.<\/h4>\n

It comes from Marcia Hinds<\/a>. She is Ryan\u2019s mom and author of the book, I Know You\u2019re In There, Winning Our War Against Autism<\/a>.<\/em><\/h4>\n

At age 4, Ryan was diagnosed with autism. He is now a systems engineer at a major aerospace company. But as proud as that makes Marcia she is most thrilled that he is happy, with a great group of friends, and an active social life.<\/h4>\n

Since I believe educating ourselves is the first step in understanding ASD, I\u2019m sharing with you one of Marcia\u2019s blogs below to better understand the many challenges parents of autistic kids face.\"Ryan<\/a><\/h4>\n

It\u2019s Not My Fault and I\u2019m NOT a Bad Mother<\/a><\/p>\n

Parenting by the \u201cnormal rules\u201d doesn\u2019t\u2019 apply if you have a kid with autism. Some of our relatives believe our kids are spoiled and we don\u2019t know how to parent. I wasn\u2019t a bad mother. Everyone just thought I was. Autistic kids do strange things. And parents do stranger things in order to cope and survive. Soon we don\u2019t even notice that what we do appears bizarre to other people. It is not about being a bad parent or having a bad child. My son was marooned on his own island and I was trying to figure him out and struggling to remain in denial, all at the same time.<\/p>\n

I was consumed with self-doubt. Part of me actually believed my relatives when they blamed all of Ryan\u2019s behaviors on me. What they failed to realize, and what I failed to realize too, was that parenting by the normal rules just didn\u2019t apply to Ryan or to any child with autism. This happens to be the moment when your well-meaning relatives jump into the family chaos and announce your kid is spoiled, out of control, and you\u2019re not doing it right. I\u2019m sure I don\u2019t need to provide any examples of what any of them do or say to an A-Club parent reading this. For all of us, a million painful moments come to mind.<\/p>\n

What most of our relatives don\u2019t realize is that their advice about how to fix things isn\u2019t helping. We have enough guilt and anguish all on our own. Our personal hell becomes even more intense when relatives, doctors, teachers and otherexperts<\/em>\u00a0can\u2019t wait to tell us that the reason our children are out of control is because of the things we do, or don\u2019t do, or maybe ate, or maybe touched, or maybe\u2026 The list of mother-blaming reasons is endless.<\/p>\n

If your family believes you are spoiling your child and their strange behavior is your fault,\u00a0don\u2019t buy it<\/em>. Just walk away. Don\u2019t try to explain how things really are. Just continue to do what your gut says your child needs. Yes, you will make mistakes, but you will learn how to get it right, and your self-esteem won\u2019t be further eroded by their caustic remarks. It doesn\u2019t make a difference if everyone thinks you are the worst parent in the world. It only makes a difference if you let what they say get to you.<\/p>\n

You can read more from Marcia Hinds blog or preview her book at www.iknowyoureinthere.com<\/a><\/h4>\n

#AutismAwarenessMonth<\/h4>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

A guest blog from a mother on the frontlines of autism.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":13659,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[7],"tags":[1655,1656,1657,1658,1659,1271,2,1660,1661,86,3,1662,5,6,1663,1361],"class_list":["post-13656","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-parenting-2","tag-asd","tag-austism","tag-autism-awareness-month","tag-autism-spectrum-disorder","tag-autism-support-group","tag-best-mom-blogs","tag-family","tag-i-know-youre-in-there","tag-i-know-youre-in-there-winning-our-war-against-autism","tag-kelli-wheeler","tag-kids","tag-marcia-hinds","tag-momservations","tag-parenting","tag-ryan-hinds","tag-teens"],"yoast_head":"\nThe First Step in Winning the War Against Autism - Kelli M. 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