{"id":13282,"date":"2014-09-23T13:28:57","date_gmt":"2014-09-23T20:28:57","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.momservations.com\/?p=13282"},"modified":"2014-09-23T13:28:57","modified_gmt":"2014-09-23T20:28:57","slug":"bring-it-in-for-a-hug-and-homecoming-advice","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/momservations.com\/index.php\/2014\/09\/23\/bring-it-in-for-a-hug-and-homecoming-advice\/","title":{"rendered":"Bring It In for a Hug and Homecoming Advice"},"content":{"rendered":"

Momservation: <\/strong>I\u2019m not backtracking. I\u2019m collecting clips for the highlight reel.<\/h4>\n

\u263a\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u263a\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u263a<\/h4>\n

I don\u2019t usually do recap blogs (part of my neurosis of being freakishly opposed to backtracking\u2014I mean, really, why go backwards when you can move forward?)<\/h4>\n

But I can ignore my agitated twitching to acknowledge a good reason to stop and review (a positive holdover from my teaching days).<\/h4>\n

First, I want to thank the Facebook community for the compassion, hope, support, prayers, and virtual love you extended to Amy Ruefenacht Callahan <\/a>last week as she dealt with the sudden loss of her 15 year-old son, Wyatt Bredell<\/a>\u2014the overwhelming response to a mother\u2019s heartbreak was a beautiful light in the darkness.<\/h4>\n

\"wyattIn last week\u2019s post, Facebook: A Surprising Life Ring in a Mother\u2019s Ocean of Grief,<\/a> I asked readers\u2014very few who knew of Amy personally\u2014to please share the story of her heart wrenching loss because in her darkest hour she was finding comfort from the Facebook community. \u00a0The outpouring of support for a mother who just lost her child was swift and uplifting\u2014in a matter of hours the story was shared by over 1,000 people! Within days it was read by more than 12,000 people across the nation and shared on Facebook by over 2,300 people.<\/h4>\n

Gosh, I love you guys. Thank you. Thank you for wrapping your virtual arms around Amy and showing her that Wyatt\u2019s life was worth honoring. I know Amy, her family, and her friends appreciated the generosity of spirit from so many strangers trying to help in any way they could. Thank you for letting me be your voice of compassion and support.<\/h4>\n

\u263a\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u263a\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u263a<\/h4>\n

The other thing I realized needed circling back to was in regards to the blog I posted week before last, The Danger of the Creative Homecoming Ask<\/a>. The story about how extravagant asking a girl to Homecoming has become and the alarming trend of girls feeling like they can\u2019t say \u201cno\u201d these over-the-top gestures has landed hundreds of teenagers to Momservations looking for answers to their Homecoming concerns.<\/h4>\n

My son had his Homecoming last weekend, but I know the Homecoming season is still ongoing for many schools. I feel like I need to help out these poor hapless teenagers who have Googled their way onto a parenting blog in search of answers to Homecoming etiquette!\u00a0\"071\"<\/h4>\n

So with my newly acquired Homecoming experience, I\u2019m going to take a stab at answering the questions that have landed on Momservations\u2019 doorstep:<\/h4>\n

How do I figure out if a girl has a date?<\/em><\/strong><\/h4>\n

You ask her. Try casually in class: \u201cSo who you going to Homecoming with?\u201d Go with flattery in the lunch line: \u201cSo who\u2019s the lucky guy that gets to take you to Homecoming?\u201d Go with clueless in the quad: \u201cI\u2019m so confused with whose going with who to Homecoming! I don\u2019t even know who you\u2019re going with\u2026\u201d And if all else fails, send an exploratory committee (find a mutual friend) to ask: \u201cHey, has anyone asked you to Homecoming yet?\u201d<\/h4>\n

How to ask a girl to Homecoming?<\/em><\/strong><\/h4>\n

It doesn\u2019t matter. Really. Girls are just happy to get the anxiety over of who is going to ask them and get on with the business of finding a dress. Nothing is more adorable to a girl than a nervous guy finding the courage to come up and ask them to Homecoming. If you want to go over the top\u2014there\u2019re plenty of ideas and pictures if you Google \u201cCreative Homecoming ask\u201d.<\/h4>\n

How to ask a guy to Homecoming?<\/em><\/strong><\/h4>\n

With confidence. A girl who asks a guy to Homecoming is awesome because it shows she\u2019s not a wall-flower, not someone who is going to sit around and wait for someone to write her destiny for her. She\u2019s a take charge girl and plenty of guys find that quality attractive. So own it. Make them feel lucky that you picked them. Do it in a way that shows off your personality: flirty, fun, romantic, athletic, quirky, quietly cool, silly\u2014whatever it is just do it and be proud of yourself for not letting someone dictate your future.<\/h4>\n

What to do if a guy asks you to Homecoming?<\/em><\/strong><\/h4>\n

If you want to go with him say \u201cyes.\u201d If he\u2019s made a big display of it and you feel comfortable, give him a hug and say, \u201cThank you! I\u2019m looking forward to it.\u201d Leave out the hug if you\u2019re not comfortable with it.<\/h4>\n

If you don\u2019t want to go with him, turn him down with tact and grace. \u201cThat\u2019s really sweet of you, but no thank you.\u201d Or if they did a big production: \u201cI appreciate your effort and generosity, but no thank you.\u201d Or, if you they did a big production and everyone\u2019s watching and you don\u2019t want to embarrass him you can say \u201cyes\u201d, but as soon as there\u2019s a private moment, IN PERSON, say, \u201cI know I said \u201cyes\u201d, but I was uncomfortable saying \u201cno\u201d in front of all those people. I\u2019m sorry, I just don\u2019t feel comfortable going with you. I hope you understand.\u201d<\/h4>\n

Can you say \u201cno\u201d to a Homecoming invitation?<\/em><\/strong><\/h4>\n

Of course. You always have the right to say \u201cno\u201d to something that doesn\u2019t make you feel comfortable. See above for how to say \u201cno.\u201d<\/h4>\n

\"028\"Can I ask a girl to Homecoming I don\u2019t know?<\/em><\/strong><\/h4>\n

Of course. Homecoming can be a great excuse to get to know someone. But, if you want to ensure a \u201cyes\u201d and avoid an awkward evening, make an effort to get on their radar first and find common ground.<\/h4>\n

Introduce yourself in one of the classes you have together: \u201cHey Susie. I know we haven\u2019t really talked before but I\u2019m Johnny.\u201d Throw in a compliment or ask her about herself to get her guard down (people usually love an excuse to talk about themselves): \u201cYou seem pretty good at Geometry. Is math your favorite subject?\u201d<\/h4>\n

Or grab a buddy at lunch and go up to her and her friends: \u201cHi ladies. I\u2019m Johnny and this is my buddy Joey. You guys always look like you\u2019re having so much fun over here, we had to come see what it was about. Do you guys all know each other from school or sports?\u201d<\/h4>\n

If you\u2019ve talked to a girl first, it won\u2019t seem so stalkerish if you decide to go ahead and ask her to Homecoming. It also gives you another excuse to talk to her.<\/h4>\n

How to ask a popular girl to Homecoming if you\u2019re not popular?<\/em><\/strong><\/h4>\n

See above question. Same rules apply.<\/h4>\n

Be yourself when you ask. It\u2019s okay if you\u2019re nervous, but be confident. Think of all your positive qualities and think, why wouldn\u2019t she want to go to Homecoming with me? <\/em>Don\u2019t make it about popularity. Make it about a fun opportunity to get to know each other.<\/h4>\n

What to do when a girl says \u201cno\u201d to Homecoming?<\/em><\/strong><\/h4>\n

Don\u2019t be a jerk\u2014which is tempting when you get shot down. Take the high road and accept it humbly and politely: \u201cI understand. Sorry it didn\u2019t work out.\u201d Or go for hapless hero: \u201cWell, I had to ask. You can\u2019t blame a guy for trying, right?\u201d Or, you can take the sting out with humor, \u201cOkay, then. You got a girlfriend you might want to set me up with instead?\u201d<\/h4>\n

Don\u2019t be afraid to ask someone else. Just because she didn\u2019t want to go with you doesn\u2019t mean someone else wouldn\u2019t be happy to.<\/h4>\n

If I get asked to Homecoming should I kiss them?<\/em><\/strong><\/h4>\n

Only if you want to. Going on date (to Homecoming or otherwise) doesn\u2019t mean it\u2019s an obligation to reward with rounding the bases. Just because someone puts out effort or expense doesn\u2019t mean you have to put out. If there\u2019s a reason to kiss someone it\u2019s because you BOTH feel a connection that you\u2019d like to explore.<\/h4>\n

<\/h4>\n

#Enjoythejourney<\/h4>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Amazing response from Facebook for a call to help and answers for teens to their Homecoming questions.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":13286,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[7],"tags":[1464,1460,1271,1465,294,1466,2,1455,1467,1468,1469,1470,1471,86,3,5,6,28,1472,1473,1474,1475,1476,1463],"class_list":["post-13282","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-parenting-2","tag-a-surprising-life-ring-in-a-mthers-ocen-of-grief","tag-amy-ruefenacht-callahan","tag-best-mom-blogs","tag-creative-homecoming-ask","tag-facebook","tag-facebook-support-group","tag-family","tag-homecoming","tag-homecoming-advice","tag-how-to-ask-a-girl-to-homecoming","tag-how-to-ask-a-guy-to-homecoming","tag-how-to-tell-a-boy-no-to-homecoming","tag-if-a-girl-says-no-to-homecoming","tag-kelli-wheeler","tag-kids","tag-momservations","tag-parenting","tag-parenting-humor","tag-should-i-kiss-a-boy-at-homecoming","tag-taking-a-girl-you-dont-know-to-homecoming","tag-the-danger-of-the-creative-homecoming-ask","tag-the-loss-of-a-child","tag-top-homecoming-questions","tag-wyatt-bredell"],"yoast_head":"\nBring It In for a Hug and Homecoming Advice - Kelli M. 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