{"id":13258,"date":"2014-09-02T13:50:04","date_gmt":"2014-09-02T20:50:04","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.momservations.com\/?p=13258"},"modified":"2014-09-02T13:50:04","modified_gmt":"2014-09-02T20:50:04","slug":"todays-mom-anxiety-high","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/momservations.com\/index.php\/2014\/09\/02\/todays-mom-anxiety-high\/","title":{"rendered":"Today’s Mom Anxiety: High"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"fireMomservation: <\/strong>The high stakes challenges of the teenage years makes a mother crave the days of guarding against sharp corners, uncovered outlets, and play dates with biters.<\/p>\n

\u263a\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u263a\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u263a<\/p>\n

I\u2019m a wreck. I don\u2019t know whether I\u2019m going to cry, throw up, or burst into obscenities. I\u2019m jumpy. I\u2019m tense. I\u2019m emotional. I just want it to be all over\u2026<\/p>\n

\u2026the teenage years. With a 14 year-old high school freshmen and 13 year-old 8th<\/sup> grader the combustible danger around here is high.<\/p>\n

One minute I\u2019m calling them my little Schmoopies, offering to make their favorite lunch, watching their silly TV shows with them, trying to coerce awkward hugs out of them and spend quality time with them. Sometimes they let me and all is right with the world.<\/p>\n

But then other times\u2026<\/p>\n

\u2026their phones are constantly buzzing, set on vibrate and screens dimmed hoping I won\u2019t notice how much they\u2019re on it. And all the while I\u2019m wondering: Who are they texting? Is it a boy or a girl? Is it someone I should be worried about? Are they a good influence? Is someone asking them to do something they shouldn\u2019t do? Will they be tempted? Will they make the right choice?<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u2026they\u2019re hunkered down in their rooms with the door shut, headphones on, scanning social media on their phones. And all the while I\u2019m worrying: Should I give them their privacy? What are they looking at behind closed doors? Are they taking and posting inappropriate selfies? Are they receiving or commenting on inappropriate selfies? What are they being exposed to on their Instagram and Twitter feeds that I can\u2019t see on mine because of privacy settings? Should I be concerned about the amount of time they spend on social media?<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u2026they increasingly interact on SnapChat. And all the while I\u2019m second-guessing myself: Should I let them have a social media account I can\u2019t monitor? Are they trying to hide something by choosing this forum to communicate? Can I still trust them? What are they sending through SnapChat? What are they putting out there that they think is private but can be screen-shotted? What image are they projecting? Will they do something stupid they can\u2019t undo?<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u2026they go off with their friends caring more about their opinion than mine. And all the while I\u2019m hoping: Can I trust these kids? Will they make good choices? Will they not do something stupid with a pack mentality, egged on by a group? Will they just say no? Will they be the voice that has the courage to speak up for what\u2019s right or wrong? Will they set a good example? Do they like who they are when they\u2019re with these people?<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u2026I know they\u2019re exposed to sex, smoking, foul language, drugs, drinking, and poor choices in the larger social setting of middle and high school. And all the while I\u2019m panicking: Have I given them a good enough foundation to rise above the curiosities and temptations? Are they able recognize a bad situation before they step into it? Do they trust that they can talk to me when they\u2019re problems seem too overwhelming to handle on their own? Do they understand that I can be a resource on how to proceed\u2014that I was young once too and probably faced these same issues? Do they believe I won\u2019t judge or punish them if they call home in desperate need to leave a bad situation?<\/strong><\/p>\n

Of course, these are the anxieties that reside on the flip side of the coin that are the teenage years\u2014the thoughts that are robbers of sleep, the sand in the sheets that keeps me flipping and flopping. They are the concerns that make me long for the aching sleep-deprivation of infancy, the simple anxieties of keeping a human being alive.<\/p>\n

The truth is, I have good kids. They make good choices. They have good friends. They operate in the parameters I have set for them until they are fully formed to fly free. They are likable, lovable, they\u2019re fun and funny, and we enjoy each other\u2019s company. The coin has landed heads side up and I\u2019ve called heads.<\/p>\n

And therein really lies my anxiety. Will it stay this way? These kids giving me so much joy and pride.<\/em><\/strong> Do I trust myself? That I\u2019ve done a good job raising my kids<\/em>.<\/strong> Do I believe in myself? That I\u2019ve done all I can to reinforce good values<\/em>.<\/strong> Can I rely on myself to be non-judgmental and understanding when they have failures? Because they will have failures. Everyone makes mistakes.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

I am a wreck because my parenting is being put the test that is the teenage years\u2014when a poor decision can be life altering. <\/em><\/p>\n

So I just need to take a deep breath. Trust that I\u2019ve put in the work to watch my kids succeed. Believe that they know I\u2019m here for them if they stumble. And now it\u2019s time for me to back off and let my kids put my number one rule to the test, the rule that makes all the other rules redundant:<\/p>\n

First, and foremost, respect yourself.<\/strong><\/p>\n

#GlassHalfFull<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Why it’s so hard to step back and trust the work you’ve put in.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":13259,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[7],"tags":[1317,2,86,3,1448,5,6,1449,1450,1356,1451,1047],"class_list":["post-13258","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-parenting-2","tag-best-mom-blog","tag-family","tag-kelli-wheeler","tag-kids","tag-modern-day-teenage-issues","tag-momservations","tag-parenting","tag-parenting-anxieties","tag-parenting-anxieties-with-teenagers","tag-parenting-in-the-digital-age","tag-parenting-teenagers","tag-teenagers"],"yoast_head":"\nToday's Mom Anxiety: High - Kelli M. 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