{"id":13032,"date":"2014-05-06T12:21:36","date_gmt":"2014-05-06T19:21:36","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.momservations.com\/?p=13032"},"modified":"2014-05-06T12:21:36","modified_gmt":"2014-05-06T19:21:36","slug":"parenting-in-the-digital-age","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/momservations.com\/index.php\/2014\/05\/06\/parenting-in-the-digital-age\/","title":{"rendered":"Parenting in the Digital Age"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><b>Momservation: <\/b>Unless that electronic device or social media is making you money, it doesn\u2019t deserve all the attention you\u2019re giving it.<\/p>\n<p align=\"center\">\u263a\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u263a\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u263a<\/p>\n<figure id=\"attachment_13036\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-13036\" style=\"width: 280px\" class=\"wp-caption alignleft\"><a href=\"https:\/\/momservations.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/05\/Rules-of-Engagement.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-full wp-image-13036 \" alt=\"photo courtesy of businessinsider.com\" src=\"https:\/\/momservations.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/05\/Rules-of-Engagement.jpg\" width=\"280\" height=\"249\" \/><\/a><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-13036\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">photo courtesy of businessinsider.com<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>On Wednesday I\u2019m speaking to the <a href=\"http:\/\/www.carmichaelkiwanis.org\/\">Carmichael Kiwanis Club<\/a>. My host for the event, Donna, let me know that the demographic would trend to grandparents.<\/p>\n<p>Great way to kick off my speaking tour: Grandparents love me! Next to moms ages 25-50, they are my biggest fan base.<\/p>\n<p>When Donna asked me what I would be speaking about, that is what gave me pause. Because anyone who knows me (or reads my Momservations\u00ae column and blog) knows I can talk about ANYTHING. And if you ask Hubby he will point out that getting me to STOP TALKING is the greater challenge.<\/p>\n<p>So when I realized I would only have 20 minutes, I tried to think of the best use of my time for my audience. (BTW, my kids were horrified to learn I would speak for that long\u2014in their digital age six-second attention spans, not only would 20 minutes be an excruciating amount of time to do public speaking, it\u2019s an unbearable amount of time to have to listen to someone.)<\/p>\n<p>And my first thought was: Boy how times have changed! Parenting must have been so easy before cell phones, internet, around the clock cable, video games and computers.<\/p>\n<p>When I told Donna I would speaking about parenting in the digital age she said, \u201cOoooooh yes, that sounds fabulous!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>So here we to\u2026<\/p>\n<p>Besides the obvious changes in technology\u2014a little more on TV than what ABC, NBC, CBS and PBS have to offer or the need for a twenty-foot phone cord for talking privacy\u2014the basic rules of parenting still apply:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Supervision<\/li>\n<li>Boundaries<\/li>\n<li>Trust=Reward, Defiance=Consequences<\/li>\n<li>Open communication<\/li>\n<li>Mutual respect<\/li>\n<li>Be a good role model<\/li>\n<li>Love<\/li>\n<li>Guidance<\/li>\n<li>Support<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Whether you raised kids in the 1960\u2019s, 70\u2019s, 80\u2019s or now in the twenty-first century, it\u2019s the same game: You\u2019re trying to love, protect, and nurture your kids into likable, functioning, responsible, happy adults.<\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s the playing field that\u2019s changed.<\/p>\n<p>So with a new playing field comes new rules of engagement.<\/p>\n<p>These are the rules we use in my house with my 13 year-old daughter and 14 year-old son when technology comes into play (Which is pretty much always. We are surrounded\u2014time to mount a defense.)<\/p>\n<p align=\"center\"><b>Momservations\u00ae<\/b><\/p>\n<p align=\"center\"><b>Rules of Engagement<\/b><\/p>\n<ol>\n<li><b>\u00a0<\/b><b>First respect yourself. Respect others. Always.<\/b> If you do this, all other rules are pretty well covered.<\/li>\n<li><b>Be present.<\/b> Life moves too fast to not be a part of it. If you\u2019ve got your nose in your phone texting, posting a status update, or checking your selfie Likes you are actually missing the moment and the true value of the experience. You can\u2019t get it back. Experience life fully not virtually.<\/li>\n<li><b>Remember the Mom Test.<\/b> If you wouldn\u2019t say it, do it, or suggest it with Moms standing next to you\u2014think twice before you post or hit send.<\/li>\n<li><b>Manage your time well.<\/b> Everything in moderation. If it starts taking precedence over things worth giving your time to like school, extra-curricular activities, physical relationships, or getting outdoors and doing physical activities\u2014it\u2019s time to re-evaluate priorities.<\/li>\n<li><b>No phones at the table.<\/b> Whether at home or in a restaurant, it\u2019s rude to the company you\u2019re with. Civilized people make eye contact and interact.<\/li>\n<li><b>When someone is talking to you, they take priority over your electronic. <\/b>Look away from the computer screen, put the phone down, the controller, the remote, the whatever and quit being rude.<\/li>\n<li><b>First do no harm. <\/b>Social media is to be used for good not evil.<\/li>\n<li>\u00a0<b>Be a leader not a follower<\/b>. Set the bar high and associate with the people who can compete. Avoid those who just want to see how low they can go.<\/li>\n<li><b>Be smart.<\/b> Make smart choices. Make smart purchases. Make smart downloads. Watch smart television. Post smart content. Don\u2019t be an idiot. A mistake on the internet can haunt you forever and is there for the world to see and judge.<\/li>\n<li><b>Cool it with the selfies.<\/b> Nothing says narcissism, low self-esteem, and fishing for compliments like constantly posting pictures of yourself in search of Likes.<\/li>\n<li><b>Respect privacy. <\/b>Don\u2019t read over people\u2019s shoulders, don\u2019t try to memorize their passwords, don\u2019t sneak their phones and change profile info or pretend to be them\u2014you think it\u2019s funny but it\u2019s not. It\u2019s a violation of trust. And so is secretly reading someone else\u2019s text or emails\u2014which is just creepy and an obvious personality flaw.<\/li>\n<li><b>Never.<\/b> <b>Ever. Text and drive. <\/b>There is nothing so important on that phone that is worth your life.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<p>#BePresent<b><\/b><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\" align=\"center\"><em><\/em><b><br \/>\n<\/b><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\" align=\"center\"><em>For Rules of Engagement for smart phone usage click here to read <a href=\"https:\/\/momservations.com\/if-i-find-out-you-did-it-you-quit-it\/\">If I Find Out You Did It You Quit It<\/a><\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>A Rules of Engagement list for parenting in the digital age.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":13036,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[7,165],"tags":[1323,1350,2,1351,1352,86,1353,3,1354,5,1355,6,28,1356,1357,1358],"class_list":["post-13032","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-parenting-2","category-parenting-humor-2","tag-best-mom-blogger","tag-carmichael-kiwanis","tag-family","tag-helpful-rules-for-teens","tag-if-i-find-out-you-did-it-you-quit-it","tag-kelli-wheeler","tag-kelli-wheeler-speaker","tag-kids","tag-list-of-rules-for-using-electronics","tag-momservations","tag-momservations-rules-of-engagement","tag-parenting","tag-parenting-humor","tag-parenting-in-the-digital-age","tag-parenting-rules-for-kids-in-digital-age","tag-rules-of-engagement"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.4 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Parenting in the Digital Age - Kelli M. 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