{"id":12443,"date":"2014-01-28T13:06:11","date_gmt":"2014-01-28T21:06:11","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/momservations.wordpress.com\/?p=12443"},"modified":"2014-01-28T13:06:11","modified_gmt":"2014-01-28T21:06:11","slug":"six-second-nation-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/momservations.com\/index.php\/2014\/01\/28\/six-second-nation-2\/","title":{"rendered":"Six Second Nation"},"content":{"rendered":"

Momservation:\u00a0<\/b>Sometimes you have to go with shock and awe to get a good point across.<\/p>\n

\u263a\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u263a\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u263a<\/p>\n

\"The<\/a>
The prophet of Six Second NationIt\u2019s come down to this: You have 6 seconds to make an impression.<\/span><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

It\u2019s come down to this: You have 6 seconds to make an impression.<\/p>\n

I guess I better get straight to the point.<\/p>\n

The other day my nearly 13 year-old daughter told me she didn\u2019t like watching the videos people posted on\u00a0Instragram<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Why?<\/p>\n

They\u2019re too long.<\/p>\n

\u201cWait,\u201d I said. \u201cAren\u2019t videos on Instagram only allowed to be like 25 seconds long?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo. Fifteen seconds.Vine\u2019s are better.\u201d<\/p>\n

For those of you who had to look up what \u201ctwerking\u201d was in the\u00a0Urban Dictionary<\/a>\u00a0after last year\u2019s\u00a0MTV Video Music Awards<\/a>,\u00a0Vine<\/a>\u00a0is\u00a0Twitte<\/a>r\u2019s video-sharing app\u2014the originators of keeping things brief on social media. You can be the director of your own mini-movie\u2026as long as it\u2019s not more than six seconds (which then plays in a continuous loop).<\/p>\n

\u201cVines are ridiculous!\u201d I said clearly showing my age and hecka unurbness. \u201cThey\u2019re over before they even start! Six seconds isn\u2019t enough time to tell a story! And then it just loops around making the same inane point.\u201d<\/p>\n

Of course, all I got to my commentary was the eye roll that said:\u00a0You\u2019re so out of touch, Mom. It\u2019s time to apply for your AARP card.<\/i><\/p>\n

Later, when I tried to regain some street cred with my teens, I tried to show my 14 year-old son a funny video on\u00a0YouTube<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Before he\u2019d even consider looking at it he asked, \u201cHow long is it?\u201d<\/p>\n

Not \u201cWhat is it?\u201d Not \u201cIs it funny?\u201d Not, \u201cIs it inappropriate?\u201d(Wait\u2014that\u2019s usually my first question.) \u201cThree minutes and forty-seven seconds,\u201d I told him already knowing it would be a deal-breaker.<\/p>\n

\u201cGeez! What is it? The\u00a0Titanic\u00a0<\/i><\/a>movie or something?\u201d<\/p>\n

Yes. Because to a teenage boy a three and a half minute video is like watching three hours of a water-logged\u00a0Leonardo DiCaprio<\/a>.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s another\u00a0NFL Bad Lip Reading<\/a>,\u201d I said clearly hurt that he couldn\u2019t spare three minutes of his time to laugh at something I knew he\u2019d enjoy with his mother.<\/p>\n

\u201cFine,\u201d he shrugged finally putting down his phone to come over to the computer.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou know what? No. I don\u2019t want to show it to you anymore,\u201d I said clearly not acting my age. When my daughter walked in the room I let loose with both petulant barrels.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou know what? You and your \u2018hecka urb\u2019 friends have become a six second nation! You all have the attention span of an amoeba splitting in half because it\u2019s already bored with itself! Microwave popcorn ready in two and a half minutes isn\u2019t good enough for you anymore\u2014gotta have your\u00a0Boom Chicka Pop<\/a>\u00a0already popped and ready to rip open! Want to watch a sunset? Nope. Takes too long. Lying on your back watching the stars? Who\u2019s got time for that?! Let\u2019s watch\u00a0Nicholas Megalis Vines<\/a>\u00a0and really have a rip-roaring 6-second time!\u201d<\/p>\n

My kids stood frozen in the face of my rant only moving their eyes toward each other to communicate that Mom had lost it. Finally, my daughter said under her breath, \u201cWow. Who peed in her Cheerios?\u201d<\/p>\n

In my ongoing battle with my teenage daughter over who gets to have the last word, I made my last and final point as I shut off the computer and walked out of the room.<\/p>\n

\u201cTrust me on this kids\u2014it will serve you well one day. You\u2019re going to want to get over this trend of short attention spans and instant gratification. Because you can\u2019t have good sex in six seconds.<\/p>\n

#OverTheTopButExcellentPoint<\/p>\n

Tip of the Day<\/i><\/b>: Try\u00a0Crazy Cuizine\u2019s Mandarin Orange Chicken<\/a>\u00a0for a quick, easy, and delicious dish for this weekend\u2019s Super Bowl.\u00a0\u201cLike\u201d Momservations on Facebook\u00a0<\/a>for a chance to win a VIP voucher to try the family size meal for free.<\/i><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The latest trend shortening the attention span of Generation Distraction<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":12436,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[165],"tags":[1252,1253,2,776,1254,86,3,1255,5,1256,1257,1258,1259,28,1260,1261,302,1095,1262,1263,356],"class_list":["post-12443","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-parenting-humor-2","tag-boom-chicka-pop","tag-crazy-cuizine","tag-family","tag-instagram","tag-jonah-hill-and-leonardo-dicaprio-on-snl","tag-kelli-wheeler","tag-kids","tag-leonardo-dicaprio","tag-momservations","tag-mtv-video-music-awards","tag-nfl-bad-lip-reading","tag-nicholas-megalis","tag-nicholas-megalis-vines","tag-parenting-humor","tag-six-second-nation","tag-titanic","tag-twitter","tag-urban-dictionary","tag-vine","tag-what-is-vine","tag-youtube"],"yoast_head":"\nSix Second Nation - Kelli M. 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