{"id":12424,"date":"2014-01-14T11:22:09","date_gmt":"2014-01-14T19:22:09","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/momservations.wordpress.com\/?p=12424"},"modified":"2014-01-14T11:22:09","modified_gmt":"2014-01-14T19:22:09","slug":"winning-the-genetic-lottery","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/momservations.com\/index.php\/2014\/01\/14\/winning-the-genetic-lottery\/","title":{"rendered":"Winning the Genetic Lottery"},"content":{"rendered":"

Momservation: <\/b>If you or your husband\u2019s teeth looked like a bag of fries when you were kids\u2014forget saving for college and start saving for braces.<\/p>\n

\u263a\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u263a\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u263a<\/p>\n

I was trying to keep this on the down-low because I didn\u2019t want to rub it in anyone\u2019s faces\u2026but I just can\u2019t contain my good fortune and thrill any longer. So here it is:<\/p>\n

I won!<\/p>\n

I won! I won! I won! I won!<\/p>\n

Okay, WE won\u2014I guess I should give credit where credit is due. Both of us did contribute, Hubby and me.<\/p>\n

What did we win?<\/p>\n

The genetic lottery!! NO BRACES FOR THE KIDS!<\/p>\n

\"None<\/a>
None of these = money in my pocket!<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Yep, on our last dentist visit Dr. Birch<\/a> official confirmed the winning number: 0<\/p>\n

Zero kids in our family will need braces!<\/p>\n

I jumped up, whooped, gave him a high five, and hugged the kids giving tearful thanks for each of their straight little teeth that persevered against crookedness.<\/p>\n

As I sprinted through the dentist lobby amped with my good fortune I rejoiced to all the other unlucky parents in the lobby: \u201cI won! Somebody had to win and it was ME!\u201d<\/p>\n

In the parking lot I called Hubby to deliver the exciting news. \u201cWe just won $14,000!\u201d I shouted. \u201cFourteen thousand dollars!! We did it! We hit the jackpot!\u201d<\/p>\n

Then I called my mom and dad. \u201cThank you! Thank you for my perfect teeth. True, it was touch and go there in my preteens and we wouldn\u2019t have had the money to fix them anyway\u2014but thank you for passing on your good teeth genes!\u201d<\/p>\n

Next I called my mother-in-law. \u201cThank you! Thank you for your son\u2019s perfect teeth! It\u2019s too bad your daughter wasn\u2019t so lucky, but I wasn\u2019t marrying your daughter! I picked the one with the great teeth! Of course, I didn\u2019t just pick him for his great teeth, but it did go on the PRO side of the list. Anyway, thanks to you and Floyd!\u201d<\/p>\n

Granted, $14,000 isn\u2019t Take This Job and Shove It money, but it is, say, Hawaii money\u2014three trips worth! Car paid off money! First cars for the kids money! Fix the roof money! Take a cruise money! Don\u2019t have to spend it on braces money!<\/i><\/p>\n

The fact is, with the going-rate of braces averaging $7,000 and my kids going to middle school in a sea of metallic smiles, the value of a perfect smile has never been more coveted and sacrificed for than it is now.<\/p>\n

So please forgive me if I\u2019m a little excited over our good fortune. Hitting the genetic lottery wasn\u2019t what we were going for, but now that we won it to the value of $14,000 we can\u2019t help but to feel incredibly lucky.<\/p>\n

But like Hubby said back when we were trying for perfect little babies: \u201cC\u2019mere, Honey. You can\u2019t win if you don\u2019t play.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It feels like winning the lottery when you don’t have to shell out for these for your kids.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":12425,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[165],"tags":[1239,1240,1241,1242,2,86,3,5,6,28],"class_list":["post-12424","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-parenting-humor-2","tag-average-cost-of-braces","tag-braces","tag-dr-birch","tag-expense-of-braces","tag-family","tag-kelli-wheeler","tag-kids","tag-momservations","tag-parenting","tag-parenting-humor"],"yoast_head":"\nWinning the Genetic Lottery - Kelli M. 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