{"id":12417,"date":"2014-01-07T12:58:45","date_gmt":"2014-01-07T20:58:45","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/momservations.wordpress.com\/?p=12417"},"modified":"2014-01-07T12:58:45","modified_gmt":"2014-01-07T20:58:45","slug":"eight-rules-for-dating-my-teenage-son","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/momservations.com\/index.php\/2014\/01\/07\/eight-rules-for-dating-my-teenage-son\/","title":{"rendered":"Eight Rules For Dating My Teenage Son"},"content":{"rendered":"

Momservation: <\/b>He may tower over me, call me Mom in the voice of Darth Vader, and have limbs of muscle and hair, but all these mother\u2019s eyes can see is a baby boy.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u263a\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u263a\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u263a<\/p>\n

Just like the Old Spice \u201cMomsong\u201d commercial sings: I didn\u2019t see it coming. (Check out the commercial below\u2014creepy but love<\/i> the lyrics.)<\/p>\n

http:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=JEbpbNTkIdk<\/p>\n

One day you put your little boy to bed with him saying, \u201cDon\u2019t forget your hug and kissie!\u201d and then the next night he hides under the covers because he doesn\u2019t want a kiss at all. At least, not from his mother.<\/p>\n

Shortly after that he will emerge like a butterfly from a very pungent cocoon in a cloud of body spray, bed head tamed with hair product, and underwear changed without being told.<\/p>\n

And then the girls start texting and your little baby boy is being referred to as \u201chot.\u201d<\/p>\n

\"What<\/a>
What hottie? I just see a baby boy…<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

It\u2019s enough to make a mother want to scream from the highest rooftops: \u201cI did NOT give you permission to grow up!\u201d<\/p>\n

But I\u2019m not delusional and I\u2019m not blind. I can see the reaction girls have to him and he\u2019s starting to notice it too. After seeing one social media post with a surreptitious picture posted of my son with the caption: My future husband<\/i>, I quickly pulled my husband aside.<\/p>\n

\u201cHave you had THE TALK with him yet? Tell me you\u2019ve had THE TALK with him! You can\u2019t let him get to the front lines without a battle plan!\u201d<\/p>\n

So while Dad is taking care of the front lines I\u2019m bringing up the rear flank\u2014or at least trying to keep those booty-shorts wearing girls from using their rear flanks to get with my son. Here are the ground rules ladies:<\/p>\n

\"Eight<\/a><\/b><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/b><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The new Old Spice “Momsong” commercial inspires a list of rules for dating mommy’s baby boy.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":12449,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[165],"tags":[1234,2,86,3,5,355,1235,1236,1237,28,1238],"class_list":["post-12417","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-parenting-humor-2","tag-eight-rules-for-dating-my-teenage-son","tag-family","tag-kelli-wheeler","tag-kids","tag-momservations","tag-old-spice","tag-old-spice-commercial","tag-old-spice-commercial-with-creepy-moms","tag-old-spice-momsong-commercial","tag-parenting-humor","tag-rules-for-dating-my-son"],"yoast_head":"\nEight Rules For Dating My Teenage Son - Kelli M. 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