{"id":12105,"date":"2013-05-07T10:55:09","date_gmt":"2013-05-07T17:55:09","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/momservations.wordpress.com\/?p=12105"},"modified":"2013-05-07T10:55:09","modified_gmt":"2013-05-07T17:55:09","slug":"a-mothers-day-wish-list","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/momservations.com\/index.php\/2013\/05\/07\/a-mothers-day-wish-list\/","title":{"rendered":"A Mother&#8217;s Day Wish List"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><b>Momservation:<\/b> The best way to spoil a mother on Mother\u2019s Day is to give her the day off from being Mom.<\/p>\n<p align=\"center\">\u263a\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u263a\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u263a<\/p>\n<p>Please don\u2019t ask me that question.<\/p>\n<p>The same one you ask me every year.<\/p>\n<p>It may sound kind, considerate, and generous to your ears, but to mine it falls in the same category as these questions:<\/p>\n<p><i>What\u2019s for dinner?<\/i><\/p>\n<p><i>Do I have any clean socks?<\/i><\/p>\n<p><i>When are we going to eat?<\/i><\/p>\n<p><i>Can you help me with this?<\/i><\/p>\n<p><i>Where is my ________ (fill in the blank)?<\/i><\/p>\n<p>So when you ask me:<\/p>\n<p><i>What do you want for Mother\u2019s Day? <\/i><\/p>\n<p>or<\/p>\n<p><i>What do you want to do for Mother\u2019s Day?<\/i><\/p>\n<p>\u2026it just sounds like another chore to add to my never ending list of things to do for people. Now I have to even plan my own Mother\u2019s Day???<\/p>\n<p>About 10 years ago I got tired of hearing <i>What do you want to do for your birthday? <\/i>or <i>Where do you want to eat for your birthday?<\/i><\/p>\n<p>I was like: \u201cYou know what? If I\u2019m gonna plan my own stinkin\u2019 birthday, then we\u2019re really gonna knock this sh** out! None of this Chili\u2019s or Olive Garden like it\u2019s something special.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>My birthday has since consisted of events like going to Tahoe and spending a weekend at Embassy Suites with special attention given to their Hosted Evening Reception; Couples Dodge Ball; Bowling and Laser Tag; and my 40<sup>th<\/sup> birthday Scavenger Hunt (that has been gaining traction as a repin on <a href=\"http:\/\/pinterest.com\/pin\/191191946652930050\/\">Pinterest<\/a>).<\/p>\n<p>So, if I\u2019m going to be planning my own Mother\u2019s Day, let\u2019s really make this good\u2014reach for the brass ring. Feel free to choose anything from this list to spoil me my darling family (And feel free to not limit this to a one-day-a-year occasion):<\/p>\n<p align=\"center\"><b>A Mother\u2019s Day Wish List<\/b><\/p>\n<ol>\n<li>Breakfast served in bed by a shirtless Chris Hemsworth.\n<p><figure id=\"attachment_12106\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-12106\" style=\"width: 107px\" class=\"wp-caption alignright\"><a href=\"http:\/\/198.23.108.118\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/05\/chris-hemsworth.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-thumbnail wp-image-12106\" alt=\"Yes, please.\" src=\"http:\/\/198.23.108.118\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/05\/chris-hemsworth.jpg?w=107\" width=\"107\" height=\"150\" \/><\/a><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-12106\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">Yes, please.<\/figcaption><\/figure><\/li>\n<li>My car taken to be detailed, returned with a full tank of gas, and no evidence of children. Better yet, returned as a convertible BMW. Green please.<\/li>\n<li>Make arrangements so calories don\u2019t count. Then serve up a dozen hot Krispy Kremes, a bucket of KFC, and a Ranch dressing fountain with bread, sweet potato fries, pizza, and sliders to dip in it.<\/li>\n<li>Do my 5k jog, 200 sit-ups, and 20 push-ups for me and have it so I still fit into my size 6 jeans.<\/li>\n<li>A pedicure and massage by Josh Duhamel.\n<p><figure id=\"attachment_12108\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-12108\" style=\"width: 114px\" class=\"wp-caption alignright\"><a href=\"http:\/\/198.23.108.118\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/05\/josh-duhamel.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-thumbnail wp-image-12108\" alt=\"If you insist.\" src=\"http:\/\/198.23.108.118\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/05\/josh-duhamel.jpg?w=114\" width=\"114\" height=\"150\" \/><\/a><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-12108\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">If you insist.<\/figcaption><\/figure><\/li>\n<li>A day by the pool where I don\u2019t have to apply sunscreen yet still tan without a burn, and the koozie around my six-pack abs has disappeared.<\/li>\n<li>I get to read a book cover-to-cover without guilt that I should be doing something more productive.<\/li>\n<li>I get to go to a non-PG-13 movie and get the jumbo popcorn, soda, and Junior Mints without having to share by divvying it out in cardboard carrying containers.<\/li>\n<li>I get 10,000 unique visitors to my website a month without needing to use the word \u201csex\u201d, posting a picture with a bare breast, or having an opinion about something controversial.<\/li>\n<li>Coronas delivered to me by a shirtless Orlando Bloom while I watch the SF Giants beat the Dodgers and the San Diego Chargers beat anybody. Actually, make it a Vodka cranberry. Lime please.\n<p><figure id=\"attachment_12109\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-12109\" style=\"width: 105px\" class=\"wp-caption alignright\"><a href=\"http:\/\/198.23.108.118\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/05\/orlando-bloom.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-thumbnail wp-image-12109\" alt=\"Don't mind if I do.\" src=\"http:\/\/198.23.108.118\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/05\/orlando-bloom.jpg?w=105\" width=\"105\" height=\"150\" \/><\/a><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-12109\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">Don&#8217;t mind if I do.<\/figcaption><\/figure><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>If I&#8217;m going to plan my own Mother&#8217;s Day then let&#8217;s kick this up a notch.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[165],"tags":[221,962,2,963,964,965,966,86,3,5,298,967,968,28,969],"class_list":["post-12105","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-parenting-humor-2","tag-40th-birthday-scavenger-hunt","tag-chris-hemsworth","tag-family","tag-fantasy-gift-list-for-mom","tag-gifts-for-mom","tag-humorous-mom-wish-list","tag-josh-duhamel","tag-kelli-wheeler","tag-kids","tag-momservations","tag-mothers-day","tag-mothers-day-wish-list","tag-orlando-bloom","tag-parenting-humor","tag-pinterest"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.4 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>A Mother&#039;s Day Wish List - Kelli M. 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