{"id":11858,"date":"2012-10-09T12:48:23","date_gmt":"2012-10-09T19:48:23","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/momservations.wordpress.com\/?p=11858"},"modified":"2012-10-09T12:48:23","modified_gmt":"2012-10-09T19:48:23","slug":"like-a-little-kid-in-an-app-store","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/momservations.com\/index.php\/2012\/10\/09\/like-a-little-kid-in-an-app-store\/","title":{"rendered":"Like a Little Kid in an App Store"},"content":{"rendered":"

Momservation:<\/strong> Why waste the energy to call names when you can just Fat Face them?<\/p>\n

\u263a\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u263a\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u263a<\/p>\n

I have probably deleted more apps than most people will ever download.<\/p>\n

(For those of you who think I\u2019m talking about single handedly wiping out sampler platters at Applebees, I\u2019m very proud of you for finding your way to this website but it\u2019s probably time to get back to your crossword book.)<\/p>\n

The reason for my regular app housecleaning is two middle school kids who have a pretty bad app a day habit.<\/p>\n

If that baby is free and has a half-way cool icon they are all over an app like Lindsay Lohan on a bad idea.<\/p>\n

If they have an iTunes gift card burning a hole in their pocket they are raiding the Top 25<\/a> list like Pablo Sandoval hits a fridge.<\/p>\n

If a friend tells them about a cool app, they will download it without stopping to think if it\u2019s a good idea like Amanda Bynes jumping behind the wheel after a few cocktails.<\/p>\n

For these reasons, I have my kids linked to my Apple account so I can see every purchase they make. Unfortunately, I didn\u2019t learn for a while how to deselect the button that syncs all their app downloads simultaneously to my iPhone.<\/p>\n

So I was getting everything from the Fat Face<\/strong> app, to Office Jerk<\/strong>, to Moto X Mayhem<\/strong>, to The Moron Test<\/strong> crowding my phone screen. The worst part was I\u2019d go to clean it out and my curiosity would get the best of me and pretty soon I\u2019m Fat Facing the dog.<\/p>\n

\"\"
Answer to election year fatigue: Fat Face app<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

I barely tore myself away from Bubble Mania<\/strong>to write this.<\/p>\n

\"\"
Answer to election year fatigue: Fat Face app<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

I am at like Mensa level on LogosQuiz<\/strong>.<\/p>\n

And I\u2019m super excited because I met the Daily Challenge on Subway Surfer<\/strong> and have enough coins to buy the Ninja.<\/p>\n

But the best app<\/a> yet is the Translator<\/strong> app my daughter downloaded. We have cracked ourselves up learning how to say, You\u2019re the biggest cheesehead in the whole world,<\/em> in 20 different languages. We\u2019ve also had a lot of fun telling political telemarketers that their fly is down Spanish.<\/p>\n

Now when the kids ask me if I want them to clear my phone of all the extra apps like I usually have them do, I tell them: \u00a1No! No elimine mi aplicaci\u00f3n. \u00a1Tu eres el jefe m\u00e1s grande de queso en el todo mundo!<\/p>\n

Now you\u2019re dying to get the Translation app aren\u2019t you? Totally worth it later tonight to be able to tell that political telemarketer in Swahili that they\u2019ve got a booger in their nose.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Trying to monitor the kids’ downloads gets Mom hooked on silly apps.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[165],"tags":[811,812,782,813,2,86,3,118,5,814,815,28],"class_list":["post-11858","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-parenting-humor-2","tag-amanda-bynes","tag-app-store","tag-apple","tag-cool-apps-for-iphone","tag-family","tag-kelli-wheeler","tag-kids","tag-lindsay-lohan","tag-momservations","tag-monitoring-things-kids-download","tag-pablo-sandoval","tag-parenting-humor"],"yoast_head":"\nLike a Little Kid in an App Store - Kelli M. Wheeler<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/momservations.com\/index.php\/2012\/10\/09\/like-a-little-kid-in-an-app-store\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Like a Little Kid in an App Store - Kelli M. Wheeler\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Trying to monitor the kids' downloads gets Mom hooked on silly apps.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/momservations.com\/index.php\/2012\/10\/09\/like-a-little-kid-in-an-app-store\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Kelli M. 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