{"id":11854,"date":"2012-10-02T15:20:56","date_gmt":"2012-10-02T22:20:56","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/momservations.wordpress.com\/?p=11854"},"modified":"2012-10-02T15:20:56","modified_gmt":"2012-10-02T22:20:56","slug":"the-new-parenting-curse","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/momservations.com\/index.php\/2012\/10\/02\/the-new-parenting-curse\/","title":{"rendered":"The New Parenting Curse"},"content":{"rendered":"

Momservation: <\/strong>Note to Mom: I get it. Feel free to lift the I-Hope-You-Have-A-Kid-Just-Like-You curse anytime.<\/p>\n

\u263a\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u263a\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u263a<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

I\u2019d like to start this blog with an overdue apology to my mother and father:<\/p>\n

I\u2019m sorry for all the nasty talk-back sh** I was saying in my head every time you deservedly yelled at me. I apologize for the evil daggers I shot at you with my eyes while tuning out your rant, thinking I had you fooled that I was still listening with my fake apologetic face. I understand now you were extremely patient with me, giving me much more room to mature than I deserved, when you should\u2019ve just smacked that smug look of perceived superiority off my face.<\/em><\/p>\n

Boy, is my hand twitching right now.<\/p>\n

But as I stare into the face that is shooting daggers at me, thinking I can\u2019t tell that she\u2019s got a really mean thought bubble over her head right now, something about her looks familiar.<\/p>\n

It is me. Thirty years ago.<\/p>\n

Dang, I could really be a brat.<\/p>\n

And, in hindsight, I actually didn\u2019t know everything. How \u2018bout that. I was sure I did.<\/p>\n

Little did I know then, when I thought I won with my silent defiance forcing my mom to throw up her hands in exasperation and say, \u201cYou\u2019re not even listening! I hope you have a kid just like you one day!\u201d that it was actually a curse that would one day bear fruit.<\/p>\n

Well played, Mom. Well-played.<\/p>\n

So, while I\u2019m gently guiding and patiently waiting for my mini-me to get her sh** together, I try to remember that I was once a work in progress too. And as much as I\u2019d like to let her know I got a secret decoder ring to her nasty little thought bubbles and could bring her to her knees in a verbal throw-down, I will keep my guns holstered.<\/p>\n

And also nominate my parents for sainthood.<\/p>\n

But I tell you what. I don\u2019t do curses that take decades to come to fruition. I\u2019m more of an instant gratification gal. And even though I\u2019m graciously refraining from acknowledging the nasty little thought bubbles over my preteen daughter\u2019s head in the name of patient parenting, my tolerance only goes so far.<\/p>\n

Yep, if this girl\u2019s not careful she\u2019s going to find herself in a rap battle throw down. That\u2019s right \u2013 not only have I been there, done that, bought the T-shirt on silent defiance, but Mom\u2019s got mad skills with the rhyme! Not only will I call her out on her nasty little thought bubbles, I will sync it to verse and embarrass the sh** out of her in front of her friends in bad LMFAO<\/a> fashion.<\/p>\n

Who needs a curse when you have threat of public embarrassment?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Why wait for your kids to have kids just like them? The new solution to silent defiance.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[165],"tags":[2,807,86,3,808,5,28,809,810],"class_list":["post-11854","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-parenting-humor-2","tag-family","tag-hope-you-have-a-kid-just-like-you-curse","tag-kelli-wheeler","tag-kids","tag-lmfao","tag-momservations","tag-parenting-humor","tag-patient-parenting","tag-silent-defiance"],"yoast_head":"\nThe New Parenting Curse - Kelli M. Wheeler<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/momservations.com\/index.php\/2012\/10\/02\/the-new-parenting-curse\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"The New Parenting Curse - Kelli M. Wheeler\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Why wait for your kids to have kids just like them? The new solution to silent defiance.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/momservations.com\/index.php\/2012\/10\/02\/the-new-parenting-curse\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Kelli M. Wheeler\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2012-10-02T22:20:56+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/static.someecards.com\/someecards\/usercards\/1349216213006_5951270.png\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Kelli M Wheeler\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Kelli M Wheeler\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"2 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/momservations.com\\\/index.php\\\/2012\\\/10\\\/02\\\/the-new-parenting-curse\\\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/momservations.com\\\/index.php\\\/2012\\\/10\\\/02\\\/the-new-parenting-curse\\\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Kelli M Wheeler\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/momservations.com\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/ef0acae18761d7be1529ccf2d4d99f43\"},\"headline\":\"The New Parenting Curse\",\"datePublished\":\"2012-10-02T22:20:56+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/momservations.com\\\/index.php\\\/2012\\\/10\\\/02\\\/the-new-parenting-curse\\\/\"},\"wordCount\":481,\"commentCount\":0,\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/momservations.com\\\/index.php\\\/2012\\\/10\\\/02\\\/the-new-parenting-curse\\\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"http:\\\/\\\/static.someecards.com\\\/someecards\\\/usercards\\\/1349216213006_5951270.png\",\"keywords\":[\"family\",\"hope you have a kid just like you curse\",\"Kelli Wheeler\",\"kids\",\"LMFAO\",\"momservations\",\"parenting humor\",\"patient parenting\",\"silent defiance\"],\"articleSection\":[\"Parenting humor\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/momservations.com\\\/index.php\\\/2012\\\/10\\\/02\\\/the-new-parenting-curse\\\/#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/momservations.com\\\/index.php\\\/2012\\\/10\\\/02\\\/the-new-parenting-curse\\\/\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/momservations.com\\\/index.php\\\/2012\\\/10\\\/02\\\/the-new-parenting-curse\\\/\",\"name\":\"The New Parenting Curse - Kelli M. Wheeler\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/momservations.com\\\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/momservations.com\\\/index.php\\\/2012\\\/10\\\/02\\\/the-new-parenting-curse\\\/#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/momservations.com\\\/index.php\\\/2012\\\/10\\\/02\\\/the-new-parenting-curse\\\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"http:\\\/\\\/static.someecards.com\\\/someecards\\\/usercards\\\/1349216213006_5951270.png\",\"datePublished\":\"2012-10-02T22:20:56+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/momservations.com\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/ef0acae18761d7be1529ccf2d4d99f43\"},\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/momservations.com\\\/index.php\\\/2012\\\/10\\\/02\\\/the-new-parenting-curse\\\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/momservations.com\\\/index.php\\\/2012\\\/10\\\/02\\\/the-new-parenting-curse\\\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/momservations.com\\\/index.php\\\/2012\\\/10\\\/02\\\/the-new-parenting-curse\\\/#primaryimage\",\"url\":\"http:\\\/\\\/static.someecards.com\\\/someecards\\\/usercards\\\/1349216213006_5951270.png\",\"contentUrl\":\"http:\\\/\\\/static.someecards.com\\\/someecards\\\/usercards\\\/1349216213006_5951270.png\"},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/momservations.com\\\/index.php\\\/2012\\\/10\\\/02\\\/the-new-parenting-curse\\\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\\\/\\\/momservations.com\\\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"The New Parenting Curse\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/momservations.com\\\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/momservations.com\\\/\",\"name\":\"Kelli M. Wheeler\",\"description\":\"AUTHOR -WRITING INSTRUCTOR \u2013 PUBLISHER \u2013 FREELANCE WRITER\\\/EDITOR \u2013 FAMILY COLUMNIST\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\\\/\\\/momservations.com\\\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":{\"@type\":\"PropertyValueSpecification\",\"valueRequired\":true,\"valueName\":\"search_term_string\"}}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/momservations.com\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/ef0acae18761d7be1529ccf2d4d99f43\",\"name\":\"Kelli M Wheeler\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/42b6e06276ebbd2f83335769170e77f3324477912fe404bfeb83eb04e4e4776c?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/42b6e06276ebbd2f83335769170e77f3324477912fe404bfeb83eb04e4e4776c?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/42b6e06276ebbd2f83335769170e77f3324477912fe404bfeb83eb04e4e4776c?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"caption\":\"Kelli M Wheeler\"},\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/momservations.com\\\/index.php\\\/author\\\/kellimwheeler\\\/\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"The New Parenting Curse - Kelli M. Wheeler","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/momservations.com\/index.php\/2012\/10\/02\/the-new-parenting-curse\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"The New Parenting Curse - Kelli M. Wheeler","og_description":"Why wait for your kids to have kids just like them? The new solution to silent defiance.","og_url":"https:\/\/momservations.com\/index.php\/2012\/10\/02\/the-new-parenting-curse\/","og_site_name":"Kelli M. Wheeler","article_published_time":"2012-10-02T22:20:56+00:00","og_image":[{"url":"http:\/\/static.someecards.com\/someecards\/usercards\/1349216213006_5951270.png","type":"","width":"","height":""}],"author":"Kelli M Wheeler","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"Kelli M Wheeler","Est. reading time":"2 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"Article","@id":"https:\/\/momservations.com\/index.php\/2012\/10\/02\/the-new-parenting-curse\/#article","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/momservations.com\/index.php\/2012\/10\/02\/the-new-parenting-curse\/"},"author":{"name":"Kelli M Wheeler","@id":"https:\/\/momservations.com\/#\/schema\/person\/ef0acae18761d7be1529ccf2d4d99f43"},"headline":"The New Parenting Curse","datePublished":"2012-10-02T22:20:56+00:00","mainEntityOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/momservations.com\/index.php\/2012\/10\/02\/the-new-parenting-curse\/"},"wordCount":481,"commentCount":0,"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/momservations.com\/index.php\/2012\/10\/02\/the-new-parenting-curse\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"http:\/\/static.someecards.com\/someecards\/usercards\/1349216213006_5951270.png","keywords":["family","hope you have a kid just like you curse","Kelli Wheeler","kids","LMFAO","momservations","parenting humor","patient parenting","silent defiance"],"articleSection":["Parenting humor"],"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"CommentAction","name":"Comment","target":["https:\/\/momservations.com\/index.php\/2012\/10\/02\/the-new-parenting-curse\/#respond"]}]},{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/momservations.com\/index.php\/2012\/10\/02\/the-new-parenting-curse\/","url":"https:\/\/momservations.com\/index.php\/2012\/10\/02\/the-new-parenting-curse\/","name":"The New Parenting Curse - Kelli M. Wheeler","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/momservations.com\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/momservations.com\/index.php\/2012\/10\/02\/the-new-parenting-curse\/#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/momservations.com\/index.php\/2012\/10\/02\/the-new-parenting-curse\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"http:\/\/static.someecards.com\/someecards\/usercards\/1349216213006_5951270.png","datePublished":"2012-10-02T22:20:56+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/momservations.com\/#\/schema\/person\/ef0acae18761d7be1529ccf2d4d99f43"},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/momservations.com\/index.php\/2012\/10\/02\/the-new-parenting-curse\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/momservations.com\/index.php\/2012\/10\/02\/the-new-parenting-curse\/"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/momservations.com\/index.php\/2012\/10\/02\/the-new-parenting-curse\/#primaryimage","url":"http:\/\/static.someecards.com\/someecards\/usercards\/1349216213006_5951270.png","contentUrl":"http:\/\/static.someecards.com\/someecards\/usercards\/1349216213006_5951270.png"},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/momservations.com\/index.php\/2012\/10\/02\/the-new-parenting-curse\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/momservations.com\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"The New Parenting Curse"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/momservations.com\/#website","url":"https:\/\/momservations.com\/","name":"Kelli M. Wheeler","description":"AUTHOR -WRITING INSTRUCTOR \u2013 PUBLISHER \u2013 FREELANCE WRITER\/EDITOR \u2013 FAMILY COLUMNIST","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/momservations.com\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/momservations.com\/#\/schema\/person\/ef0acae18761d7be1529ccf2d4d99f43","name":"Kelli M Wheeler","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/42b6e06276ebbd2f83335769170e77f3324477912fe404bfeb83eb04e4e4776c?s=96&d=mm&r=g","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/42b6e06276ebbd2f83335769170e77f3324477912fe404bfeb83eb04e4e4776c?s=96&d=mm&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/42b6e06276ebbd2f83335769170e77f3324477912fe404bfeb83eb04e4e4776c?s=96&d=mm&r=g","caption":"Kelli M Wheeler"},"url":"https:\/\/momservations.com\/index.php\/author\/kellimwheeler\/"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/momservations.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11854","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/momservations.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/momservations.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/momservations.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/momservations.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=11854"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/momservations.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11854\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/momservations.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=11854"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/momservations.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=11854"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/momservations.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=11854"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}