{"id":11790,"date":"2012-07-24T14:52:07","date_gmt":"2012-07-24T21:52:07","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/momservations.wordpress.com\/?p=11790"},"modified":"2012-07-24T14:52:07","modified_gmt":"2012-07-24T21:52:07","slug":"run-down-by-the-puberty-bus","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/momservations.com\/index.php\/2012\/07\/24\/run-down-by-the-puberty-bus\/","title":{"rendered":"Run Down by the Puberty Bus"},"content":{"rendered":"

Momservation:<\/strong> Preteen girls come in like a lamb and go out like a lion.<\/p>\n

\u263a\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u263a\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u263a<\/p>\n

As my mother used to say, I\u2019m in deep kimchi (i.e. deep sh**). I probably shouldn\u2019t even be talking to you about this right now and am definitely looking over my shoulder. I\u2019m as jumpy as a cat in a room full of rocking chairs.<\/p>\n

Who am I afraid of?<\/p>\n

My hormone raging eleven year-old daughter.<\/p>\n

What\u2019s happened to my baby girl? It\u2019s like Poltergeist over here these days. One minute she\u2019s squishing me and telling me, \u201cI love you, Mommy!\u201d and then the next minute she\u2019s crying and stomping off to her room shouting, \u201cYou NEVER let me do anything!\u201d<\/p>\n

One day she couldn\u2019t care less that she looks like a Goodwill donation and the next she\u2019s wearing her long hair down, with a cute Aeropostle shirt and shorts, flipping her hair and walking almost hunched so her hair will stay falling over the front of her shoulders.<\/p>\n

One day she\u2019s a sweet, perpetual ponytail wearing tomboy and then suddenly you cut two inches of her hair off in a reluctant quick trim and she\u2019s screaming at you that you ruined her life.<\/p>\n

What is going on here?<\/p>\n

I\u2019m guessing I stepped off the curb and got hit by the puberty bus that just picked her up.<\/p>\n

I didn\u2019t even realize we were an official stop until the Great Haircutting Incident of July 2012:<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>
Where did this sweet little girl go and how do I get her back?<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

She didn\u2019t want me to cut her hair. \u201cI\u2019m growing it out,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n

\u201cJust a trim. It looks unhealthy and natty even when you brush it. Besides, you always wear it in a ponytail anyway,\u201d I insisted.<\/p>\n

\u201cFine, but just a little bit and none from the front.\u201d<\/p>\n

So I proceed to wet her hair, comb it all back and take an inch or so off the bottom in a straight line. As I\u2019m cutting it, I\u2019m trying to kick the hair that\u2019s falling, dispersing it because I know she\u2019s going to think it\u2019s too much.<\/p>\n

\u201cOkay, turn around,\u201d I tell her ready to check for evenness and fine tuning. Before I can stop her she does the flip all her hair forward over her shoulder thing she\u2019s being doing recently.<\/p>\n

She looks down to assess the trim and we both notice at the same time that her hair is wildly uneven, one side significantly longer than the other thanks to it falling back to is natural side parting.<\/p>\n

\u201cMom! What did you do!\u201d she screams.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m not done. Here, let me just even it out.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo! Don\u2019t touch it!\u201d she yells horrified. \u201cI don\u2019t want it any shorter!\u201d She runs off to the bathroom in a dramatic flourish.<\/p>\n

I roll my eyes and call after her, hearing as I say it the Mom-just-doesn\u2019t-understand words: \u201cGeez, Whitney. It\u2019s just hair. It\u2019ll grow back!\u201d<\/p>\n

When I reach her in the bathroom she is crying, frantically trying to make her hair somehow look even. She glares at me through the mirror.<\/p>\n

\u201cJust let me finish, Whitney. I can fix it,\u201d I huff, annoyed she\u2019s acting like I\u2019m a puppy kicker.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo! Then it\u2019s going to be even shorter! I told you not to cut it! Why did you make me cut it? It\u2019s soooo short,\u201d she moans going for best dramatic actress in a lead role.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re being ridiculous. My God, it\u2019s just hair. You\u2019re acting like I shaved your head.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cArggghh!\u201d she yells at me with a look that could kill and stomps out.<\/p>\n

In that moment I am mad at her for being mad at me over something so silly in the big scheme of things. But echoing in my ears are my words \u2013 that were once my mother\u2019s words \u2013 and I\u2019m instantly transported back to a time when I felt the frustration of believing my mother just didn\u2019t understand.<\/p>\n

Taking a deep breath and saying a quick prayer for patience for the duration of this ride I go find Whitney \u2013 who is at the computer Googling: How long does it take for hair to grow?<\/em><\/p>\n

Trying to muster sympathy over annoyance I apologize. \u201cI\u2019m sorry, Whitney. I\u2019m sorry I didn\u2019t cut your hair the way you wanted it and I\u2019m sorry you don\u2019t like it.\u201d<\/p>\n

Her features soften. The anger drains out of her. She doesn\u2019t say, \u201cThanks, Mom\u201d but I see it in her eyes and with the ever so slight head bob of appreciative acknowledgement.<\/p>\n

My baby girl is back.<\/p>\n

Until the 2:20 bus arrives.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Hang on for the ride, it’s like living with a Poltergeist when the preteen girl hormones kick in.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[165],"tags":[766,86,5,28,767,522],"class_list":["post-11790","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-parenting-humor-2","tag-first-stages-of-puberty","tag-kelli-wheeler","tag-momservations","tag-parenting-humor","tag-preteen-hormones","tag-preteens"],"yoast_head":"\nRun Down by the Puberty Bus - Kelli M. Wheeler<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/momservations.com\/index.php\/2012\/07\/24\/run-down-by-the-puberty-bus\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Run Down by the Puberty Bus - Kelli M. Wheeler\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Hang on for the ride, it's like living with a Poltergeist when the preteen girl hormones kick in.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/momservations.com\/index.php\/2012\/07\/24\/run-down-by-the-puberty-bus\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Kelli M. Wheeler\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2012-07-24T21:52:07+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/momservations.files.wordpress.com\/2012\/07\/dsc_0057.jpg?w=199\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Kelli M Wheeler\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Kelli M Wheeler\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"4 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/momservations.com\\\/index.php\\\/2012\\\/07\\\/24\\\/run-down-by-the-puberty-bus\\\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/momservations.com\\\/index.php\\\/2012\\\/07\\\/24\\\/run-down-by-the-puberty-bus\\\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Kelli M Wheeler\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/momservations.com\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/ef0acae18761d7be1529ccf2d4d99f43\"},\"headline\":\"Run Down by the Puberty Bus\",\"datePublished\":\"2012-07-24T21:52:07+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/momservations.com\\\/index.php\\\/2012\\\/07\\\/24\\\/run-down-by-the-puberty-bus\\\/\"},\"wordCount\":817,\"commentCount\":2,\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/momservations.com\\\/index.php\\\/2012\\\/07\\\/24\\\/run-down-by-the-puberty-bus\\\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"http:\\\/\\\/momservations.files.wordpress.com\\\/2012\\\/07\\\/dsc_0057.jpg?w=199\",\"keywords\":[\"first stages of puberty\",\"Kelli Wheeler\",\"momservations\",\"parenting humor\",\"preteen hormones\",\"preteens\"],\"articleSection\":[\"Parenting humor\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/momservations.com\\\/index.php\\\/2012\\\/07\\\/24\\\/run-down-by-the-puberty-bus\\\/#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/momservations.com\\\/index.php\\\/2012\\\/07\\\/24\\\/run-down-by-the-puberty-bus\\\/\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/momservations.com\\\/index.php\\\/2012\\\/07\\\/24\\\/run-down-by-the-puberty-bus\\\/\",\"name\":\"Run Down by the Puberty Bus - Kelli M. Wheeler\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/momservations.com\\\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/momservations.com\\\/index.php\\\/2012\\\/07\\\/24\\\/run-down-by-the-puberty-bus\\\/#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/momservations.com\\\/index.php\\\/2012\\\/07\\\/24\\\/run-down-by-the-puberty-bus\\\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"http:\\\/\\\/momservations.files.wordpress.com\\\/2012\\\/07\\\/dsc_0057.jpg?w=199\",\"datePublished\":\"2012-07-24T21:52:07+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/momservations.com\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/ef0acae18761d7be1529ccf2d4d99f43\"},\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/momservations.com\\\/index.php\\\/2012\\\/07\\\/24\\\/run-down-by-the-puberty-bus\\\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/momservations.com\\\/index.php\\\/2012\\\/07\\\/24\\\/run-down-by-the-puberty-bus\\\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/momservations.com\\\/index.php\\\/2012\\\/07\\\/24\\\/run-down-by-the-puberty-bus\\\/#primaryimage\",\"url\":\"http:\\\/\\\/momservations.files.wordpress.com\\\/2012\\\/07\\\/dsc_0057.jpg?w=199\",\"contentUrl\":\"http:\\\/\\\/momservations.files.wordpress.com\\\/2012\\\/07\\\/dsc_0057.jpg?w=199\"},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/momservations.com\\\/index.php\\\/2012\\\/07\\\/24\\\/run-down-by-the-puberty-bus\\\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\\\/\\\/momservations.com\\\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"Run Down by the Puberty Bus\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/momservations.com\\\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/momservations.com\\\/\",\"name\":\"Kelli M. Wheeler\",\"description\":\"AUTHOR -WRITING INSTRUCTOR \u2013 PUBLISHER \u2013 FREELANCE WRITER\\\/EDITOR \u2013 FAMILY COLUMNIST\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\\\/\\\/momservations.com\\\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":{\"@type\":\"PropertyValueSpecification\",\"valueRequired\":true,\"valueName\":\"search_term_string\"}}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/momservations.com\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/ef0acae18761d7be1529ccf2d4d99f43\",\"name\":\"Kelli M Wheeler\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/42b6e06276ebbd2f83335769170e77f3324477912fe404bfeb83eb04e4e4776c?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/42b6e06276ebbd2f83335769170e77f3324477912fe404bfeb83eb04e4e4776c?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/42b6e06276ebbd2f83335769170e77f3324477912fe404bfeb83eb04e4e4776c?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"caption\":\"Kelli M Wheeler\"},\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/momservations.com\\\/index.php\\\/author\\\/kellimwheeler\\\/\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Run Down by the Puberty Bus - Kelli M. Wheeler","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/momservations.com\/index.php\/2012\/07\/24\/run-down-by-the-puberty-bus\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Run Down by the Puberty Bus - Kelli M. Wheeler","og_description":"Hang on for the ride, it's like living with a Poltergeist when the preteen girl hormones kick in.","og_url":"https:\/\/momservations.com\/index.php\/2012\/07\/24\/run-down-by-the-puberty-bus\/","og_site_name":"Kelli M. Wheeler","article_published_time":"2012-07-24T21:52:07+00:00","og_image":[{"url":"http:\/\/momservations.files.wordpress.com\/2012\/07\/dsc_0057.jpg?w=199","type":"","width":"","height":""}],"author":"Kelli M Wheeler","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"Kelli M Wheeler","Est. reading time":"4 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"Article","@id":"https:\/\/momservations.com\/index.php\/2012\/07\/24\/run-down-by-the-puberty-bus\/#article","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/momservations.com\/index.php\/2012\/07\/24\/run-down-by-the-puberty-bus\/"},"author":{"name":"Kelli M Wheeler","@id":"https:\/\/momservations.com\/#\/schema\/person\/ef0acae18761d7be1529ccf2d4d99f43"},"headline":"Run Down by the Puberty Bus","datePublished":"2012-07-24T21:52:07+00:00","mainEntityOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/momservations.com\/index.php\/2012\/07\/24\/run-down-by-the-puberty-bus\/"},"wordCount":817,"commentCount":2,"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/momservations.com\/index.php\/2012\/07\/24\/run-down-by-the-puberty-bus\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"http:\/\/momservations.files.wordpress.com\/2012\/07\/dsc_0057.jpg?w=199","keywords":["first stages of puberty","Kelli Wheeler","momservations","parenting humor","preteen hormones","preteens"],"articleSection":["Parenting humor"],"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"CommentAction","name":"Comment","target":["https:\/\/momservations.com\/index.php\/2012\/07\/24\/run-down-by-the-puberty-bus\/#respond"]}]},{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/momservations.com\/index.php\/2012\/07\/24\/run-down-by-the-puberty-bus\/","url":"https:\/\/momservations.com\/index.php\/2012\/07\/24\/run-down-by-the-puberty-bus\/","name":"Run Down by the Puberty Bus - Kelli M. Wheeler","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/momservations.com\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/momservations.com\/index.php\/2012\/07\/24\/run-down-by-the-puberty-bus\/#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/momservations.com\/index.php\/2012\/07\/24\/run-down-by-the-puberty-bus\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"http:\/\/momservations.files.wordpress.com\/2012\/07\/dsc_0057.jpg?w=199","datePublished":"2012-07-24T21:52:07+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/momservations.com\/#\/schema\/person\/ef0acae18761d7be1529ccf2d4d99f43"},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/momservations.com\/index.php\/2012\/07\/24\/run-down-by-the-puberty-bus\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/momservations.com\/index.php\/2012\/07\/24\/run-down-by-the-puberty-bus\/"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/momservations.com\/index.php\/2012\/07\/24\/run-down-by-the-puberty-bus\/#primaryimage","url":"http:\/\/momservations.files.wordpress.com\/2012\/07\/dsc_0057.jpg?w=199","contentUrl":"http:\/\/momservations.files.wordpress.com\/2012\/07\/dsc_0057.jpg?w=199"},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/momservations.com\/index.php\/2012\/07\/24\/run-down-by-the-puberty-bus\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/momservations.com\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Run Down by the Puberty Bus"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/momservations.com\/#website","url":"https:\/\/momservations.com\/","name":"Kelli M. Wheeler","description":"AUTHOR -WRITING INSTRUCTOR \u2013 PUBLISHER \u2013 FREELANCE WRITER\/EDITOR \u2013 FAMILY COLUMNIST","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/momservations.com\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/momservations.com\/#\/schema\/person\/ef0acae18761d7be1529ccf2d4d99f43","name":"Kelli M Wheeler","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/42b6e06276ebbd2f83335769170e77f3324477912fe404bfeb83eb04e4e4776c?s=96&d=mm&r=g","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/42b6e06276ebbd2f83335769170e77f3324477912fe404bfeb83eb04e4e4776c?s=96&d=mm&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/42b6e06276ebbd2f83335769170e77f3324477912fe404bfeb83eb04e4e4776c?s=96&d=mm&r=g","caption":"Kelli M Wheeler"},"url":"https:\/\/momservations.com\/index.php\/author\/kellimwheeler\/"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/momservations.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11790","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/momservations.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/momservations.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/momservations.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/momservations.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=11790"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/momservations.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11790\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/momservations.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=11790"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/momservations.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=11790"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/momservations.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=11790"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}