{"id":11775,"date":"2012-07-11T11:11:10","date_gmt":"2012-07-11T18:11:10","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/momservations.wordpress.com\/?p=11775"},"modified":"2012-07-11T11:11:10","modified_gmt":"2012-07-11T18:11:10","slug":"dozen-ways-to-put-off-laundry","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/momservations.com\/index.php\/2012\/07\/11\/dozen-ways-to-put-off-laundry\/","title":{"rendered":"Dozen Ways to Put Off Laundry"},"content":{"rendered":"

Momservation: <\/strong>If God wanted us to do laundry regularly He wouldn\u2019t have created mommy porn.<\/p>\n

\u263a\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u263a\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u263a<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

It\u2019s summer. No one wants to do anything except follow the shade around so you don\u2019t have to put on sunscreen and hope their friend hurries up with book two and three of Fifty Shades of Grey<\/strong>.<\/a><\/p>\n

So here\u2019s a helpful guide to help you achieve your goals this summer:<\/p>\n

A Dozen Ways to Put Off Laundry<\/strong><\/p>\n

    \n
  1. Have everyone turn their underwear inside out for another wear<\/li>\n
  2. Impose a moratorium on shoes and thus the need for socks \u2013 wear only flip flops<\/li>\n
  3. Sleep naked<\/li>\n
  4. Wear bathing suits everywhere<\/li>\n
  5. Everyone uses the same towel all summer<\/li>\n
  6. Bring back old fashions by digging to bottoms of drawers and back of closets<\/li>\n
  7. Put stinky clothes in dryer with a Bounce for five minutes to freshen them up<\/li>\n
  8. Put funny pins and stickers over stains<\/li>\n
  9. Buy more clothes, socks and underwear<\/li>\n
  10. Pretend your camping and that dirt happens<\/li>\n
  11. Stop doing anything that would make you sweaty or dirty<\/li>\n
  12. Put an OUT OF ORDER sign on the washing machine<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    Stay tuned next week for A Dozen Ways to Put Off Dinner<\/strong> for when you finally get your hands on the next book in the Fifty Shades of Grey Trilogy<\/a>.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    A helpful list for those who can’t put down Fifty Shades of Grey or who just hate doing laundry.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[165],"tags":[758,2,759,760,86,3,5,28,761,762],"class_list":["post-11775","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-parenting-humor-2","tag-avoiding-laundry","tag-family","tag-fifty-shades-of-grey","tag-fifty-shades-of-grey-trilogy","tag-kelli-wheeler","tag-kids","tag-momservations","tag-parenting-humor","tag-stay-at-home-moms","tag-summer-reading"],"yoast_head":"\nDozen Ways to Put Off Laundry - Kelli M. Wheeler<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/momservations.com\/index.php\/2012\/07\/11\/dozen-ways-to-put-off-laundry\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Dozen Ways to Put Off Laundry - Kelli M. Wheeler\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"A helpful list for those who can't put down Fifty Shades of Grey or who just hate doing laundry.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/momservations.com\/index.php\/2012\/07\/11\/dozen-ways-to-put-off-laundry\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Kelli M. 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