{"id":11753,"date":"2012-06-19T14:33:47","date_gmt":"2012-06-19T21:33:47","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/momservations.wordpress.com\/?p=11753"},"modified":"2012-06-19T14:33:47","modified_gmt":"2012-06-19T21:33:47","slug":"a-mother-is-never-surprised-to-find-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/momservations.com\/index.php\/2012\/06\/19\/a-mother-is-never-surprised-to-find-2\/","title":{"rendered":"A Mother is Never Surprised to Find&#8230;"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><strong>Momservation: <\/strong>It\u2019s all fun and games until you hear the Mom Voice and freeze in your tracks.<\/p>\n<p align=\"center\">\u263a\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u263a\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u263a<\/p>\n<p>Welcome back to another installment of <em>A Mother is Never Surprised to Find\u2026!<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Of course, this is an endless game we can play because kids will never cease pushing the boundaries of acceptable outcomes. That front cerebral cortex that makes rational decisions won\u2019t be fully developed until after college when they finally stop and think:<\/p>\n<p>\u201cHey, maybe seeing if I can light my farts on fire isn\u2019t such a great idea.\u201d (In some men, this just never develops.)<\/p>\n<p>And where you find a kid leaving someone scratching their head thinking, <em>What the H-E- Double Hockey Sticks?!, <\/em>you will find a mother not breaking stride in business as usual.<\/p>\n<p>Only the best of us are cut out for this Mom stuff.<\/p>\n<p>So without further ado, let\u2019s see what has ceased to amaze us mothers lately:<\/p>\n<p><strong>A Mother is Never Surprised to Find\u2026<\/strong><\/p>\n<figure id=\"attachment_11755\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-11755\" style=\"width: 224px\" class=\"wp-caption alignleft\"><a href=\"http:\/\/momservations.files.wordpress.com\/2012\/06\/photo-8.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-11755\" title=\"photo (8)\" src=\"http:\/\/momservations.files.wordpress.com\/2012\/06\/photo-8.jpg?w=224\" alt=\"\" width=\"224\" height=\"300\" \/><\/a><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-11755\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">Is this really the best use of tape?<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>\u2026kids circled around a toilet to see if hamsters can swim.<\/p>\n<p>\u2026someone standing on the roof with a sheet ready to try parachuting.<\/p>\n<p>\u2026something frozen in the freezer that should not be anywhere near food.<\/p>\n<p>\u2026calls for help coming from inside a sofa sleeper.<\/p>\n<p>\u2026she is out of tape because it\u2019s all been used by her kids to make funny faces.<\/p>\n<p>\u2026 a suspiciously missing favorite action figure buried in the garden.<\/p>\n<p>\u2026shoes in the middle of the room that a child supposedly looked \u201call over\u201d for.<\/p>\n<p>\u2026the dog wearing boxer shorts.<\/p>\n<figure id=\"attachment_11754\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-11754\" style=\"width: 224px\" class=\"wp-caption alignleft\"><a href=\"http:\/\/momservations.files.wordpress.com\/2012\/06\/fat-2.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-11754\" title=\"fat (2)\" src=\"http:\/\/momservations.files.wordpress.com\/2012\/06\/fat-2.jpg?w=224\" alt=\"\" width=\"224\" height=\"300\" \/><\/a><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-11754\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">FatFace screensaver of myself &#8211; Why does this not surprise me?<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>\u2026kids getting ready to drop the cat off the roof to see if it\u2019s true they always land on their feet.<\/p>\n<p>\u2026her make-up being used as finger paint.<\/p>\n<p>\u2026pilfered cookies stashed in the dryer.<\/p>\n<p>\u2026evidence on the wall that a peanut butter sandwich had recently resided there.<\/p>\n<p>\u2026contraband stashed inside pillow cases.<\/p>\n<p>\u2026her iPhone screensaver changed to a picture of herself <a href=\"http:\/\/itunes.apple.com\/us\/app\/fatface\/id418844590?mt=8\">FatFaced<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p>As I said before, feel free to add anything to the list \u2013 but I guarantee I won\u2019t be surprised.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>When you become a mom things cease to amaze you because kids like to keep life interesting.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[165],"tags":[749,750,2,751,86,3,5,28],"class_list":["post-11753","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-parenting-humor-2","tag-a-mother-in-never-surprised-to-find","tag-crazy-things-kids-do","tag-family","tag-fatface-app","tag-kelli-wheeler","tag-kids","tag-momservations","tag-parenting-humor"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.4 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>A Mother is Never Surprised to Find... - Kelli M. 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