{"id":11683,"date":"2012-03-27T13:24:23","date_gmt":"2012-03-27T20:24:23","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/momservations.wordpress.com\/?p=11683"},"modified":"2012-03-27T13:24:23","modified_gmt":"2012-03-27T20:24:23","slug":"poo-as-a-moral-barometer","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/momservations.com\/index.php\/2012\/03\/27\/poo-as-a-moral-barometer\/","title":{"rendered":"Poo as a Moral Barometer"},"content":{"rendered":"

\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

Momservation: <\/strong>Until you\u2019re a mom you will never know the depth of your poo tolerance.<\/p>\n

\u263a\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u263a\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u263a<\/p>\n

Today\u2019s column is further proof of my friend Mindy\u2019s theory that all conversations lead to sex or poo (to paraphrase).<\/p>\n

So I\u2019m walking the dog today and she decides to poo right where another dog has pooed. Sh**. Literally and figuratively.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m a responsible dog owner, so I\u2019m ready to pick up my dog\u2019s poo. But now the moral dilemma becomes: do I be a friendly neighbor and pick up some other dog\u2019s poo too?<\/p>\n

I really don\u2019t want to. I\u2019m pretty grossed out by the prospect. I find it ironic that I have no problem picking up a hot steaming poo, but I\u2019m queasy at the thought of picking up some random cold poo.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>
For these faces my poo tolerance has been high<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

So while my dog is finishing up her business, I\u2019m cussing the people who think the neighborhood is their dog\u2019s toilet. I bet if I led my dog to their yard and let her poo there every day without picking it up they\u2019d suddenly realize \u201coh yeah, that is kinda rude and disgusting.\u201d<\/p>\n

No, they wouldn\u2019t. People who let their dogs sh** wherever, without picking it up, are not treat-others-how-you-like-to-be-treated type people. They\u2019re the poor tippers, cut in front of you in line, refuse to let someone into their lane narcissists. They believe they are somehow more entitled than everyone else when actually they\u2019re a few rungs short of decent people.<\/p>\n

Okay, so even though I\u2019ve decided to be a good neighbor and pick up both poos, I\u2019m being very judgmental about it. It takes me the rest of our walk to let it go under my Walk Two Moons in Their Moccasins value I try to uphold. I shouldn\u2019t judge because I don\u2019t know what their circumstances are. Maybe that was the dog\u2019s second poo and they ran out of poop bags. Maybe their poop bag had a hole in it and this is the one time they forgoed picking it up. Maybe they were having a sh**ty day and they just couldn\u2019t handle once more piece of sh**.<\/p>\n

Then another thing occurs to me since I\u2019m thinking about poo. Before kids, I thought changing diapers was disgusting. When I was pregnant for the first time I thought my biggest challenge was going to be dealing with poopy diapers\u2026<\/p>\n

Okay, now that we\u2019ve all stopped laughing and dried our hysterical tears we can agree that poop becomes a non-issue when you become a mom. It still stinks. It\u2019s still gross. You still wonder what they ate that made it that color. But you take care of business and you move on without throwing up your baby\u2019s creamed carrots you finished off, the only thing you\u2019ve eaten in your sleep-deprived, no shower or brushed teeth existence. It\u2019s what you do for those you love. Even if it\u2019s poo.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s also why changing another\u2019s baby\u2019s diaper or picking up another dog\u2019s poo in an act of compassion is just a little bit harder. It\u2019s a damn good thing they\u2019re cute.<\/p>\n

But there is a statute of limitations on poo tolerance. Once all your kids get beyond the diaper years, poo becomes gross again. I gag over every Hershey squirted underwear in the laundry and unflushed toilets. And picking up other dog\u2019s poo trying to be a good neighbor.<\/p>\n

I think it\u2019s time to talk about sex now\u2026<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Until you’re a mom you’ll never know the depth of your poo tolerance.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[165],"tags":[2,688,86,3,5,28,689],"class_list":["post-11683","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-parenting-humor-2","tag-family","tag-important-moral-values","tag-kelli-wheeler","tag-kids","tag-momservations","tag-parenting-humor","tag-responsible-dog-ownership"],"yoast_head":"\nPoo as a Moral Barometer - Kelli M. 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