{"id":11624,"date":"2014-06-10T10:00:31","date_gmt":"2014-06-10T17:00:31","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/momservations.wordpress.com\/?p=11624"},"modified":"2014-06-10T10:00:31","modified_gmt":"2014-06-10T17:00:31","slug":"whats-in-your-center-console","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/momservations.com\/index.php\/2014\/06\/10\/whats-in-your-center-console\/","title":{"rendered":"What&#8217;s in Your Center Console?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><strong>Momservation: <\/strong>If it\u2019s not carried in a mother\u2019s purse or her car it doesn\u2019t exist.<\/p>\n<p align=\"center\">\u263a\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u263a\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u263a<\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft size-medium wp-image-11625\" alt=\"044\" src=\"https:\/\/momservations.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/01\/044-224x300.jpg\" width=\"224\" height=\"300\" \/>Welcome to the latest installment of \u201cWhat\u2019s in Your Center Console?\u201d! If you enjoyed playing \u201cWhat\u2019s in Mom\u2019s Purse?\u201d you\u2019re going to be glad you stopped by for this one!<\/p>\n<p>Before we dive into the center console of my 2003 Ford Expedition it should be noted that when we first test drove our car I exclaimed, \u201cI don\u2019t know about this center console. It\u2019s huge! It takes up too much room. What would anyone need all this space for?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>For the past eight years Hubby\u2019s running joke whenever I open the bursting at the seams junk drawer that is our center console is to ask me, \u201cWhat would<em> anyone <\/em>need all that space for?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>So without further delay let\u2019s see what could possibly fill an airplane hangar sized center console of a mother\u2019s car:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>Napkins<\/strong>. Subway napkins, McDonald\u2019s napkins, 7-Eleven napkins, plain brown napkins, white napkins, even some with stains. If someone has a Hiroshima sized blow-out of any kind we are ready to sop that baby up.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Dramamine. <\/strong>So hopefully you don\u2019t need the napkins after getting car sick watching a double-feature on the DVD player.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Plastic bags.<\/strong> In case the Dramamine doesn\u2019t work.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Straws.<\/strong> We have never needed these for a drink, but it did come in handy in a great MacGyver moment when a DVD got stuck in the DVD player.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Half a sleeve of 6 month old crumbled Ritz crackers.<\/strong> Cause you never know when you\u2019ll be trapped in a snow storm and will be glad you didn\u2019t throw those away.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Jerky chew in a can.<\/strong> From when Hubby tried to quit chewing. I\u2019ve used it when I\u2019m out of dog treats.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Lemonheads.<\/strong> So old they\u2019ve stuck together in one big candy clump. Could come in useful for a good backseat Truth or Dare session.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Lip Balm.<\/strong> It\u2019s in a tin can that says, \u201cThe key word is \u2018allegedly\u2019\u201d. Never used it, but the saying cracks me up every time I come across it.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Cup of crap.<\/strong> This used to hold pencils, pennies and gum. Now it\u2019s where old candy goes to die. There\u2019s Now &amp; Laters, Certs, two flavors of disintegrated Extra gum, a couple of Halls lozenges. The Lemonheads really need to be moved to this cup.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Crumbled Saltine cracker packets.<\/strong> You just never know when you\u2019re going to get stuck in that blizzard.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Ketchup packets.<\/strong> We\u2019ll need something to wash down the crumbled crackers.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Receipts.<\/strong> Aren\u2019t you supposed to keep these for seven years?<\/li>\n<li><strong>Golf ball.<\/strong> No one in our family golfs. Your guess is as good as mine. Probably confiscated from one of the kids with a \u201cGive me that thing!\u201d when they wouldn\u2019t stop fighting over it.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Jingle Bell.<\/strong> Thinking another Give Me That Thing acquisition.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Melted birthday candle. <\/strong>I got nothin\u2019\u2026<\/li>\n<li><strong>Disposable camera. <\/strong>No idea what pictures could be on there, and by how long it\u2019s been in there, obviously don\u2019t care.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Battery.<\/strong> A size which I have never seen before. No idea what it could power. Maybe the DVD remote that\u2019s somewhere lost in the car.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Hair tie.<\/strong> If you have girls, these things are all over the place a multiply quicker than rabbits.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Matches.<\/strong> Part of my unofficial blizzard disaster kit or for the next time Daddy hot boxes us with farts after stopping at Taco Bell.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Restaurant punch cards.<\/strong> If I collected all these single punched cards I bet I gotta free pizza or sandwich in here.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Joe\u2019s Crab Shack wet wipes.<\/strong> Back-up in case we run out of napkins.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Phone charger.<\/strong> It might be for one of those ones that were the size of a bread loaf.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Headphones.<\/strong> Great game to distract the kids from Are We There Yet? Whoever untangles them and finds the one that works gets to actually listen to the movie!<\/li>\n<li><strong>American River Parkway parking passes.<\/strong> Now I find them. $65 ticket later thinking two park rangers for 26 miles of parkway would never find me.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Sunscreen. <\/strong>To be applied in case I feel like fighting with resisting kids.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Ziplock bag of dog food.<\/strong> We got something for everyone in this car.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Mini New Testament and Gospel of John Book.<\/strong> From when I couldn\u2019t get out of my driveway quick enough before the Christian door-to-doorers hit my house.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Scratched CD\u2019s\/DVD\u2019s.\u00a0<\/strong>Guess which show we like to watch based on this musical selelction:\n<ul>\n<li><strong>Clay Aiken<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>Lee DeWyze<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>Blake Lewis<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>Kelly Clarkson<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>Rueben Studdard<\/strong><\/li>\n<li><strong>Scotty McCreery<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>In case you\u2019ve decided we\u2019re not very cool, we do also have the last eight years of Grammy Nominees CD\u2019s, Kings of Leon, Nickleback, Kid Rock, Beastie Boys, Justin Timberlake, and Kids Fun sing-along. Okay, maybe I\u2019m not making my case very well anymore\u2026<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>Empty CD cases.<\/strong> Explains the scratched CD\u2019s.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>I still haven\u2019t gotten to the bottom of the center console, but I\u2019m bored with this game now. I\u2019m putting it all back in because I don\u2019t feel like playing Clean Out the Center Console.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The more space you give someone, the more junk they can fill it with. Cause everyone needs CD&#8217;s from all the past American Idol contestants&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":11625,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[165],"tags":[2,1337,1338,86,3,5,28,1339,1340],"class_list":["post-11624","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-parenting-humor-2","tag-family","tag-junk-drawers","tag-junk-found-in-cars","tag-kelli-wheeler","tag-kids","tag-momservations","tag-parenting-humor","tag-past-american-idol-contestants","tag-things-moms-carry-around"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.4 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>What&#039;s in Your Center Console? - Kelli M. 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