{"id":11597,"date":"2012-01-03T11:53:59","date_gmt":"2012-01-03T19:53:59","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/momservations.wordpress.com\/?p=11597"},"modified":"2012-01-03T11:53:59","modified_gmt":"2012-01-03T19:53:59","slug":"2012-predictions-nostradamus-got-nothin-on-me","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/momservations.com\/index.php\/2012\/01\/03\/2012-predictions-nostradamus-got-nothin-on-me\/","title":{"rendered":"2012 Predictions &#8211; Nostradamus Got Nothin&#8217; on Me"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><strong>Momservation: <\/strong>It\u2019s amazing how quickly one can adapt and actually enjoy living in organized chaos.<\/p>\n<p align=\"center\">\u263a\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u263a\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u263a<\/p>\n<p>I don\u2019t do resolutions.<\/p>\n<p>I don\u2019t know about you, but I don\u2019t need New Year\u2019s and broken resolutions to make me feel any worse about myself. I do a pretty good job of it on a daily basis as evidenced by a never ending To Do List that mocks my continually interrupted productivity. Some days I put things on the list that I\u2019ve already done just so I\u2019ll have something to cross off.<\/p>\n<p>I feel more comfortable with predictions. Specifically, predictions that will inevitably come true. If you\u2019re going to epically fail, somehow it feels better to be able to say you saw it coming. So without further ado, my <strong>2012 Predictions<\/strong>:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>One day my car is going to veer off course from <a href=\"http:\/\/www.24hourfitness.com\">24-Hour Fitness<\/a> and pull into the <a href=\"http:\/\/www.krispykreme.com\">Krispy Kreme<\/a> drive-thru line when the \u201cHot\u201d light is on and I will eat a dozen doughnuts in one sitting.<a href=\"http:\/\/momservations.files.wordpress.com\/2012\/01\/krispy-kreme1.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignright size-medium wp-image-11600\" title=\"krispy-kreme1\" src=\"http:\/\/momservations.files.wordpress.com\/2012\/01\/krispy-kreme1.jpg?w=300\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"249\" \/><\/a><\/li>\n<li>This is the year I quit threatening to make my family do their own laundry and make good on my promise.<\/li>\n<li>I will finally make something for dinner that actually makes one of my kids barf at the table instead of just gagging.<\/li>\n<li>In February I will eat an entire box of <a href=\"http:\/\/www.sees.com\">See\u2019s Candies<\/a> and hide the evidence when that time of the month falls too close to Valentine\u2019s Day.<\/li>\n<li>I will say something behind someone\u2019s back only to horrifically find I am literally standing behind their back.<\/li>\n<li>I will sneak into the 10 item or less line in the grocery store with 17 items. If confronted I will deny it saying individual Yoplait yogurts should count as one item.<\/li>\n<li>In April the Easter bunny will fail to appear because someone overslept after staying up all night to watch a <a href=\"http:\/\/abc.go.com\/shows\/modern-family\">Modern Family<\/a> television marathon.<a href=\"http:\/\/momservations.files.wordpress.com\/2012\/01\/modern-family.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignright size-full wp-image-11599\" title=\"Modern Family\" src=\"http:\/\/momservations.files.wordpress.com\/2012\/01\/modern-family.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"240\" height=\"135\" \/><\/a><\/li>\n<li>An employee at <a href=\"http:\/\/www.Target.com\">Target<\/a> will be the victim of an unfair verbal attack when someone makes the mistake of trying on a bikini from the Juniors section thinking they\u2019d actually look good in it.<\/li>\n<li>I will decide it is time for my son to become a man and make him go cold turkey by refusing to buy ketchup.<\/li>\n<li>I will find stock-piled ketchup packets under my son\u2019s mattress.<\/li>\n<li>In June someone will pretend they stubbed their toe really hard and that they\u2019re not actually crying about school being out.<\/li>\n<li>It will be another summer of Death by Recreation and they will love it damnit.<\/li>\n<li>Hubby will faint when he realizes the feminine products I had him buy at the grocery store are for his 11 year-old daughter.<\/li>\n<li>There will be a rare occurrence in fall where we wake up one morning without some sort of soccer related activity and will become paralyzed with the overwhelming possibilities of what to do with ourselves.<\/li>\n<li>I announce that I\u2019m taking a solo trip to Bali and that everyone is on their own for Thanksgiving (oh wait, that\u2019s not a prediction, that\u2019s a fantasy).\n<p><figure id=\"attachment_11598\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-11598\" style=\"width: 112px\" class=\"wp-caption alignleft\"><a href=\"http:\/\/momservations.files.wordpress.com\/2012\/01\/zac_efron300.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-thumbnail wp-image-11598\" title=\"zac_efron300\" src=\"http:\/\/momservations.files.wordpress.com\/2012\/01\/zac_efron300.jpg?w=112\" alt=\"\" width=\"112\" height=\"150\" \/><\/a><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-11598\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">Wow, just looking at this picture makes me...<\/figcaption><\/figure><\/li>\n<li>I will sneak off to the movies to see a<a href=\"http:\/\/www.people.com\/people\/zac_efron\"> Zac Ephron<\/a>\u00a0movie comfortable with my obsession now that he\u2019s of legal age.<\/li>\n<li><\/li>\n<li>Come Christmas I will over-spend, over-decorate, over-schedule, and be overwhelmed, using the Lord\u2019s name in vain as I yell at everyone not to forget the reason for the season.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Happy New Year. I hope it\u2019s predictably, wonderfully, organized chaos \u2013 a place I personally inhabit well.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I don&#8217;t do resolutions. I do predictions. If you\u2019re going to epically fail, somehow it feels better to be able to say you saw it coming. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[165],"tags":[613,614,2,86,3,615,616,5,617,28,618,619,620],"class_list":["post-11597","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-parenting-humor-2","tag-2012-predictions","tag-24-hour-fitness","tag-family","tag-kelli-wheeler","tag-kids","tag-krispy-kreme","tag-modern-family","tag-momservations","tag-new-years-predictions","tag-parenting-humor","tag-sees-candy","tag-target","tag-zac-ephron"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.4 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>2012 Predictions - Nostradamus Got Nothin&#039; on Me - Kelli M. 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