{"id":11507,"date":"2011-09-27T12:50:58","date_gmt":"2011-09-27T19:50:58","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/momservations.wordpress.com\/?p=11507"},"modified":"2011-09-27T12:50:58","modified_gmt":"2011-09-27T19:50:58","slug":"a-mother-is-never-surprised-to-find","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/momservations.com\/index.php\/2011\/09\/27\/a-mother-is-never-surprised-to-find\/","title":{"rendered":"A Mother is Never Surprised to Find&#8230;"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><strong>Momservation: <\/strong>You better make it good, because it\u2019s nearly impossible to surprise a mother.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align:center;\">\u00a0\u263a\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u263a\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u263a<\/p>\n<p>Welcome to the initial installment of <strong>A Mother is Never Surprised to Find<\/strong>\u2026 Where the second you become a mom, things cease to amaze you because kids like to keep life interesting. \u00a0The list of things your child will do, say, or pull to little or no reaction from Mom is endless, but I\u2019m gonna have to put a cap on it here, cause I\u2019ve got a <a href=\"http:\/\/www.samsclub.com\">Sam\u2019s Club<\/a> run to make.<\/p>\n<p align=\"center\"><strong><span style=\"text-decoration:underline;\">A Mother is Never Surprised to Find\u2026<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>a turtle in the bathtub when you don\u2019t own a turtle<strong><\/strong><\/li>\n<li>objects in a poopy diaper that weren\u2019t served in a previous meal<strong><\/strong><\/li>\n<li>a lost sippy cup with curdled milk buried in the sandbox<strong><\/strong><\/li>\n<li>a dead frog in the freezer<strong><\/strong><\/li>\n<li>two months\u2019 worth of milk money on the bottom of a backpack<strong><\/strong><\/li>\n<li>her son trying to leave the house in a duct tape shirt<strong><\/strong><\/li>\n<li>her daughter trying to leave the house with badly applied make-up<strong><\/strong><\/li>\n<li>a live snail collection in a shoe box in the closet<strong><\/strong><\/li>\n<li>her bra being used as a water balloon sling shot\n<figure id=\"attachment_11508\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-11508\" style=\"width: 300px\" class=\"wp-caption alignright\"><a href=\"http:\/\/momservations.files.wordpress.com\/2011\/09\/babycat_large.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-11508\" title=\"babycat_Large\" src=\"http:\/\/momservations.files.wordpress.com\/2011\/09\/babycat_large.jpg?w=300\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"224\" \/><\/a><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-11508\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">courtesy of community.sparknotes.com<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p><strong><\/strong><\/li>\n<li>an empty milk jug put back in the refrigerator<strong><\/strong><\/li>\n<li>a cube of butter being eaten like a popsicle<strong><\/strong><\/li>\n<li>her dining room chair propping up a bike jump<strong><\/strong><\/li>\n<li>her daughter shaving her stuffed animals with her razor<strong><\/strong><\/li>\n<li>a Lego in a clogged drain<strong><\/strong><\/li>\n<li>tadpoles in the toilet<strong><\/strong><\/li>\n<li>poop and vomit can shoot across a room<strong><\/strong><\/li>\n<li>an already colored coloring book wrapped up as a gift<strong><\/strong><\/li>\n<li>the cat dressed in doll clothes<strong><\/strong><\/li>\n<li>the dog in a pair of boxers<strong><\/strong><\/li>\n<li>a ceiling fan being used to shoot things across the room<strong><\/strong><\/li>\n<li>dried boogers on a headboard<strong><\/strong><\/li>\n<li>her couch cushions outside on the trampoline<strong><\/strong><\/li>\n<li>Daddy\u2019s tie being used as a fly swatter<strong><\/strong><\/li>\n<li>the leaf blower tied to a skateboard<strong><\/strong><\/li>\n<li>her toddler brushing her hair with the toilet bowl brush<strong><\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Here\u2019re these passed on to me from<a href=\"http:\/\/www.Twitter.com\/Momservations\"> Twitter <\/a>by Cori Kesler of <a href=\"http:\/\/embracingtheabsurd.blogspot.com\/\">http:\/\/embracingtheabsurd.blogspot.com<\/a>:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>a month old lunch under the bed<\/li>\n<li>skid marks in underwear<\/li>\n<li>a perfectly good piece of fruit in the garbage with three bites taken out of it<\/li>\n<li>the candy stash missing<\/li>\n<li>clean clothes in the hamper<\/li>\n<li>someone yelling \u201cmommmmmmmmyy!!!\u201d the moment she sits down for a rest<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Feel free to add to the list. But I\u2019m telling you now, I won\u2019t be surprised.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>You better make it good, because it&#8217;s nearly impossible to surprise a mother.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[165],"tags":[547,548,2,86,3,5,28,549,550,302],"class_list":["post-11507","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-parenting-humor-2","tag-a-mother-is-never-surprised-to-find","tag-cori-kesler","tag-family","tag-kelli-wheeler","tag-kids","tag-momservations","tag-parenting-humor","tag-sams-club","tag-things-kids-do","tag-twitter"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.4 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>A Mother is Never Surprised to Find... - Kelli M. 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