{"id":11207,"date":"2011-02-01T14:57:46","date_gmt":"2011-02-01T22:57:46","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/momservations.wordpress.com\/?p=11207"},"modified":"2011-02-01T14:57:46","modified_gmt":"2011-02-01T22:57:46","slug":"sneezing-out-your-belly-button","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/momservations.com\/index.php\/2011\/02\/01\/sneezing-out-your-belly-button\/","title":{"rendered":"Sneezing Out Your Belly Button"},"content":{"rendered":"

Momservation: <\/strong>Teaching your child to stand up for themselves shouldn\u2019t include teaching them, \u201cIf my dog was as ugly as you, I\u2019d shave its butt and make it walk backward.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u263a\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u263a\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u263a<\/p>\n

\"Rules
Rules of engagement: Stick up for yourself<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Beware of girls with braids in their hair. Or ponytails. Or headbands. Straight and curly hair too.<\/p>\n

Actually, just look out for girls in general.<\/p>\n

They\u2019re mean.<\/p>\n

My nine year old daughter, Whitney, has been the repeated victim of bullying on the blacktop recently. This is surprising to me because she is no wall-flower and she\u2019s a tough cookie. Just ask her older brother who has the cuts and bruises to show for pushing his sister too far.<\/p>\n

But, according to the principal, this is an ongoing problem with girls. The boys are easy. Fight, get over it in two seconds, continue with the ball game. But the girls \u2013 they\u2019re sneaky and they go for the emotional jugular. They tell you you\u2019re dumb, say your clothes are ugly, and that you\u2019re the only one not invited to their birthday party.<\/p>\n

As a parent, besides wanting to storm the school and take out these girls Rambo <\/a>style, my first instinct is to give Whitney some of my best lines to shoot back at these bullies in barrettes.<\/p>\n

Like, \u201cYou may think my shirt is ugly, but I can change my shirt. You can\u2019t change your face.\u201d<\/p>\n

Or, \u201cI refuse to have a battle of wits with someone who is obviously unarmed.\u201d<\/p>\n

And also, \u201cYou may think I\u2019m dumb, but I can go to school to get smart. You\u2019re out of luck. You can\u2019t fix stupid.\u201d<\/p>\n

But of course, I hold my tongue and do the standard parent mantra about sticking up for yourself:<\/p>\n

–\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Did you use your words to tell them you didn\u2019t like what they said\/how they were treating you?<\/p>\n

–\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Did you ask them to please stop?<\/p>\n

–\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Did you just walk away and try ignoring them?<\/p>\n

–\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Did you tell a teacher\/yard supervisor if you felt like you needed an adult to step in?<\/p>\n

–\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 If you\u2019ve tried to solve the problem yourself and it isn\u2019t working, would you like me to step in?<\/p>\n

The first time, after Whitney couldn\u2019t solve the problem herself, I went to the teacher and principal. The girl and her parents were talked to and, surprisingly, instead of dealing with a parent who thinks their perfect child could never do anything like that, the parents had the girl apologize and promise to leave Whitney alone. And she did. No retaliation. Happy ending \u2013 but truly the exception and not the rule to bullies (and their parents).<\/p>\n

This most recent episode Whitney took care of herself. It went like this:<\/p>\n

A girl cuts in front of Whitney and other kids in the tetherball line.<\/p>\n

Whitney: Hey, you just cut. You can\u2019t do that.<\/p>\n

Bully: So. Whatya going to do about it?<\/p>\n

Whitney: You know, you\u2019re not going to have any friends if you treat people this way.<\/p>\n

Bully: I can see you\u2019re just as annoying as your brother.<\/p>\n

Whitney: Hey! You can insult me all you want, but you can\u2019t talk about my brother that way!<\/p>\n

Bully: I can see you\u2019re just as stupid as your family (when Whitney told me this account she spelled out S-T-U-P-I-D because she\u2019s not allowed to use that word).<\/p>\n

(This next part, Whitney prefaced it to me by saying, \u201cI don\u2019t know if you\u2019re going to like this part mom, but I said it anyway.\u201d)<\/p>\n

Whitney: If you don\u2019t shut up (which she\u2019s also not allowed to say), I\u2019m going to punch you in the nose so hard you\u2019re going to be sneezing out your belly button.<\/p>\n

Okay, first I tried not to laugh. Then I tried not to high five her. Then I tried not to say, \u201cNow THAT\u2019s how you take care of business!\u201d<\/p>\n

Instead I asked, \u201cSo what happened then?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cShe left and went somewhere else,\u201d Whitney grinned triumphantly.<\/p>\n

\u201cWas that an original line?\u201d I asked trying not to fist pump.<\/p>\n

\u201cGot it off TV,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n

\u201cEffective,\u201d I nodded. Then after a momentary pause I felt it my parental good example duty to ask, \u201cYou weren\u2019t really going to punch her, were you?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNah,\u201d she said. \u201cIt\u2019s just a line I\u2019ve been wanting use and I finally got to use it.\u201d<\/p>\n

And one I couldn\u2019t have said better myself.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Nine year old daughter sticks up for herself against bully with a line mom couldn’t have said better herself.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[7,165],"tags":[272,2,86,3,273,5,6,28,274,275,276,277,278],"class_list":["post-11207","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-parenting-2","category-parenting-humor-2","tag-bullying","tag-family","tag-kelli-wheeler","tag-kids","tag-kids-and-bullying","tag-momservations","tag-parenting","tag-parenting-humor","tag-playground-bullying","tag-rambo","tag-sticking-up-for-yourself","tag-tips-against-bullying","tag-tips-for-sticking-up-for-yourself"],"yoast_head":"\nSneezing Out Your Belly Button - Kelli M. 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