{"id":11149,"date":"2010-11-30T15:06:58","date_gmt":"2010-11-30T23:06:58","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/momservations.wordpress.com\/?p=11149"},"modified":"2010-11-30T15:06:58","modified_gmt":"2010-11-30T23:06:58","slug":"11149","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/momservations.com\/index.php\/2010\/11\/30\/11149\/","title":{"rendered":"The Longest Week of My Life"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><strong>Momservation: <\/strong>It\u2019s a sad day when you realize you spend more time interacting with your iPhone than your children.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align:center;\">\u263a\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u263a\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u263a<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019ve been walking around since Saturday with this strange feeling that part of me is missing &#8211; something vital to my functioning, and yet, somehow it\u2019s going to be okay.<\/p>\n<p>Almost like I donated a kidney.<\/p>\n<p>It was 4:37 p.m. and 23 seconds on November 27, 2010 when I realized I was no longer whole. It was 4:37 and 46 seconds when I frantically started dialing for help (from a land line \u2013 took me awhile to remember how it worked), listening for any sign of my lost appendage. It was 4:38 and 39 seconds when I decided to make the fateful Time of Death call.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cHello?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cAunt Sandie \u2013 it\u2019s me. Have you heard muffled sounds of <a href=\"http:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=_KSMG8mCzN8\">Michael Franti\u2019s \u201cSay Hey I Love You\u201d<\/a> playing in your car?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cAs a matter of fact I have,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n<p>It was confirmed. My iPhone was almost half-way to Monterey and my life was over.<\/p>\n<p>Okay, maybe that\u2019s a bit dramatic, but I challenge any of you to go without your smart phone of choice for a week and see if you don\u2019t start climbing the walls and phantom app-ing like a heroine addict without their methadone.<\/p>\n<p>(My Life Before I Lost My\u00a0iPhone, courtesy of Windows Phone)\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>[youtube=http:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=EHlN21ebeak]<\/p>\n<p>To give myself a little credit, I did tell Aunt Sandie to bring the phone (which fell out of my pocket into her car when I was unloading Christmas present purchases valiantly wrangled from the local mall) when she came back up in a week rather than mail it Overnight Express Expedite the Heck Out of It Hurry Up And Get Here Damnit I\u2019ll Be Waiting at the Door.<\/p>\n<p>Surprisingly, it\u2019s been kinda nice living a cell phone free life. I actually listen to what my kids are saying to me now instead of nodding and throwing out an absent, \u201cHmmm, that\u2019s nice honey,\u201d while checking Facebook status updates.<\/p>\n<p>And when you\u2019re not incessantly sending Tweets and texting nothing terribly important for no good reason, having two hands free comes in so handy.<\/p>\n<p>Funny thing too &#8211; when you don\u2019t have to constantly stop, take a picture and post what you\u2019re doing right now and how fun it is \u2013 you can actually enjoy what you\u2019re doing right now and savor the moment yourself.<\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s amazing how simple your life can become when you don\u2019t receive calls or texts from people needing something from you. Or not being able to contact anyone because you still haven\u2019t gotten around to backing up your Contacts list and you have no idea what anyone\u2019s number is.<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019m also a much better driver now that I\u2019m not constantly looking in my review mirror for the fuzz and pretending like I have an itch behind my ear. Much quicker off the line at green lights too with no annoying honking behind me anymore.<\/p>\n<p>Another bonus &#8211; I don\u2019t lose endless hours of productive time playing <a href=\"http:\/\/www.popcapgames.com\/games\/bejeweled2?icid=bejeweled2_HP_TOP10_3_A_07_01_08\">Bejeweld2<\/a> or <a href=\"http:\/\/www.popcapgames.com\/games\/pvz?icid=pvz_HP_TOP10_2_A_07_01_08\">Plants vs. Zombies<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p>In fact, with all this free time now open to me with no iPhone in my life it\u2019s allowed me to spend some real quality time with my family!<\/p>\n<p>Good Lord, Saturday can\u2019t get here soon enough.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Mom forced to go w\/o her iPhone for a week leaves her feeling like she donated a kidney &#8211; nice gesture but something&#8217;s missing.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[7,165],"tags":[170,2,171,3,172,173,5,6,28,174,175,176,177],"class_list":["post-11149","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-parenting-2","category-parenting-humor-2","tag-bejeweled2","tag-family","tag-iphone","tag-kids","tag-lost-iphone","tag-michael-franti","tag-momservations","tag-parenting","tag-parenting-humor","tag-plants-vs-zombies","tag-quality-time-with-kids","tag-say-hey-i-love-you","tag-windows-phone"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.4 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>The Longest Week of My Life - Kelli M. 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