{"id":11069,"date":"2010-10-05T12:34:43","date_gmt":"2010-10-05T19:34:43","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/momservations.wordpress.com\/?p=11069"},"modified":"2010-10-05T12:34:43","modified_gmt":"2010-10-05T19:34:43","slug":"so-not-impressed","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/momservations.com\/index.php\/2010\/10\/05\/so-not-impressed\/","title":{"rendered":"So Not Impressed"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><strong>Momservation: <\/strong>Doesn\u2019t matter to your kids what you\u2019ve achieved in life as long as you\u2019re the maker of pancakes, kisser of boo-boos, and player in make-believe.<\/p>\n<p>\u263a\u263a\u263a\u00a0<a href=\"http:\/\/www.sacmag.com\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft size-full wp-image-11070\" title=\"Oct Sacmag cover\" src=\"http:\/\/momservations.files.wordpress.com\/2010\/10\/oct-sacmag-cover.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"160\" height=\"207\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align:left;\">October\u2019s <strong><em><a href=\"http:\/\/www.sacmag.com\/\">Sacramento Magazine<\/a><\/em><\/strong> is out and if you turn to page 31 \u2013 Hey, it\u2019s me!<\/p>\n<p>\u00a0The picture accompanying the article, to my great relief, actually came out cute (Thanks, <a href=\"http:\/\/www.mandydraper.com\">Mandy Draper<\/a>!). It has me, sitting in a chair, with the blurred images of my children and dog racing around me. The picture was framed to show the commotion and chaos of being a mom. I was just glad I didn\u2019t look like cheesehead.<\/p>\n<p>My kids, of course, turned to the \u201cUp Front\u201d section featuring me and my Momservations\u00ae (Thanks, <a href=\"http:\/\/www.sacmag.com\/media\/Sacramento-Magazine\/Contact\">Elena Macaluso<\/a>) and said, \u201cHey, it\u2019s me!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Not, \u201cHey, look! There\u2019s my mom, the successful writer who landed in the pages of a glossy magazine!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>No, that wasn\u2019t even a footnote in the conversation when I received an advance copy in the mail.<\/p>\n<p>It went more like this:<\/p>\n<p>Logan: There\u2019s me! You can see me and Darby (the dog), but you\u2019re all blurry Whitney. Ha, ha!<\/p>\n<p>Whitney (dejectedly): Hey, that\u2019s not fair! All you can see is my back! Well, you\u2019re all blurry too Logan.<\/p>\n<p>Logan: So. At least you can see me. That\u2019s \u2018cause I\u2019m better and so is Darby.<\/p>\n<p>Whitney: You\u2019re not better! You\u2019re just a cheesehead!<\/p>\n<p>Logan: <em>You\u2019re <\/em>the cheesehead, cheese ball.<\/p>\n<p>Then punching, pushing, shoving, screeching, chasing, evil laughing, threats of bodily harm, and rolling on the floor in a mess of swinging arms and legs ensued.<\/p>\n<p>I just made sure I grabbed the magazine out of the way before they ripped it.<\/p>\n<p>Then I retreated to where any minor celebrity would go to finish reading the feature in peace and muted quiet; my sanctuary from the chaos where I am not to be disturbed.<\/p>\n<p>The bathroom.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Author, Kelli M. Wheeler, is featured in October&#8217;s Sacramento Magazine much to her children&#8217;s unimpressed undelight.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[7],"tags":[103,2,3,5,28,104,105],"class_list":["post-11069","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-parenting-2","tag-elena-macaluso","tag-family","tag-kids","tag-momservations","tag-parenting-humor","tag-photographer-mandy-draper","tag-sacramento-magazine"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.4 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>So Not Impressed - Kelli M. 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