{"id":11062,"date":"2010-09-28T13:35:58","date_gmt":"2010-09-28T20:35:58","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/momservations.wordpress.com\/?p=11062"},"modified":"2010-09-28T13:35:58","modified_gmt":"2010-09-28T20:35:58","slug":"trumpet-player-or-hostage-negotiator","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/momservations.com\/index.php\/2010\/09\/28\/trumpet-player-or-hostage-negotiator\/","title":{"rendered":"Trumpet Player or Hostage Negotiator?"},"content":{"rendered":"

Momservation: <\/strong>Your kid joining Band just might be retaliation for all the times you\u2019ve told them to be quiet.<\/p>\n

\u263a\u263a\u263a<\/p>\n

\u00a0I try to tell myself that behind every Paul McCartney, Eddie Van Halen and Dave Grohl there was once a mother with bleeding ears.<\/p>\n

\u00a0And so the next leg of my parenting journey reveals itself: The supporting of artistic expression by letting my kid join the school band.<\/p>\n

Because, you know, we\u2019re not doing nearly enough extra-curricular activities here in the Wheeler house (as evidence by World Cup Summer<\/a>).<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>So my nine year-old daughter, Whitney \u2013 she of no fear and King Kong confidence, decides she\u2019s going to jump on her first year of eligibility and represent in the wind instrument category in the likes of Louis Armstrong.<\/p>\n

That\u2019s right. Trumpet. Not cute little flute or piccolo. Not the mellow clarinet. She goes for the instrument version of herself \u2013 loud and proud. Needless to say, she is the only girl in the section.<\/p>\n

The first night of practice was actually comical. Students were instructed to start with just the mouth piece detached from the instrument to get the hang of the technique and beginning note. The noise coming out of Whitney\u2019s bedroom became a game of Guess That Sound:<\/p>\n

–\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 A Moped in desperate need of a tune-up?<\/p>\n

–\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 A swarm of bees with a stuttering problem?<\/p>\n

–\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Whoopee Cushion dying a slow death?<\/p>\n

–\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Daddy after burrito night?<\/p>\n

Soon, you could hear Whitney had had enough with this amateur mouthpiece stuff. She wanted to get straight to the big gun. That\u2019s when the strangled sounds of what can only be described as a cow trying to pass a gall stone screeched from her room.<\/p>\n

Straying from the one note script, it immediately became Improv Night and Whitney was creating the sweet sound of an elephant with a sinus infection.<\/p>\n

Oh, but it was Pied Piper music for 10 yr. old boys because it immediately drew her brother, Logan, to her room.<\/p>\n

\u201cHey, Whitney, can I blow? Can I blow now?\u201d I heard him beg.<\/p>\n

There was some closed-door negotiations before more sounds of a moose in heat violated my ears.<\/p>\n

Now I don\u2019t know if Whitney will go on to be the next Wynton Marsalis, or if I\u2019ll even survive the Beginning Band years, but I do know one thing. She could definitely have a fantastic career as a hostage negotiator.<\/p>\n

She\u2019s got her brother caddying her trumpet to and from school for the right to play around with it for five minutes a day. She\u2019s also got me ready to give her anything to find a new interest.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Mother of 9 yr. old trumpeter wonders how Louis Armstrong’s mom survived the beginning band years.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[7],"tags":[96,97,98,2,3,99,5,28,100,101,102],"class_list":["post-11062","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-parenting-2","tag-beginning-band","tag-dave-grohl","tag-eddie-van-halen","tag-family","tag-kids","tag-louis-armstrong","tag-momservations","tag-parenting-humor","tag-paul-mccartney","tag-trumpet-playing","tag-wynton-marsalis"],"yoast_head":"\nTrumpet Player or Hostage Negotiator? - Kelli M. Wheeler<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/momservations.com\/index.php\/2010\/09\/28\/trumpet-player-or-hostage-negotiator\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Trumpet Player or Hostage Negotiator? - Kelli M. Wheeler\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Mother of 9 yr. old trumpeter wonders how Louis Armstrong's mom survived the beginning band years.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/momservations.com\/index.php\/2010\/09\/28\/trumpet-player-or-hostage-negotiator\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Kelli M. 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